Our life coach is right here!

Kirsten Long ad­vises on love, work and more.

Glamour (South Africa) - - All About You -

Q“My par­ents got di­vorced years ago and now my mom wants to dis­cuss her love life with me. How should I han­dle this?”

As we get older, our re­la­tion­ships with our moth­ers change and it’s im­por­tant to con­sider whether the bound­aries in the re­la­tion­ship should change, too. Your mom has clearly de­cided that the boundary around dis­cussing sex has opened up, while you still seem to be re­luc­tant to dis­cuss the sub­ject with her.

Ex­press your dis­com­fort to your mother. Try be­ing hu­mor­ous and laugh­ingly say, “Mom I’m not ready to have this kind of con­ver­sa­tion with you.” See where this goes.

Al­ter­na­tively, you can choose to give it to her straight, “Mom, I re­ally ap­pre­ci­ate be­ing able to have these adult con­ver­sa­tions with you, but since I am still your child, and you are still my mother, I feel this par­tic­u­lar con­ver­sa­tion is not ap­pro­pri­ate. Who else are you able to you talk to?”

Your mom may try to guilt you, but re­main firm and then change the sub­ject. This way you are lay­ing the boundary for how your re­la­tion­ship will progress from here.

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