“I learnt to say just what I want in bed”

Glamour (South Africa) - - You You You -

“When I was 18 or 20, I felt that sex was to please the guy, not me. And at first, in those early re­la­tion­ships, I’d want it most days. Then I’d realise I was stay­ing up too late or drinking too much. Fi­nally, I fig­ured out how I like sex best, and in­stead of feel­ing guilty, I tell my part­ner how and when: not at night, when I’m tired; some­times sched­uled (not on the cal­en­dar, but might as well be); quick (no fore­play); and in a sure-to-work way (mostly me on top).

I say it in a pos­i­tive, casual tone and in the end, it usu­ally shakes out that one of us says, ‘ Wanna have sex later?’ My part­ners have all been hap­pily on board. There’s less guess­ing and less chance of re­jec­tion when a man knows that I’m in the mood. I feel hap­pier and sex­ier be­ing con­fi­dent enough to say what I want and he’s happy he’s mak­ing me feel good.” – Laura, 30

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