“I learnt to say just what I want in bed”
“When I was 18 or 20, I felt that sex was to please the guy, not me. And at first, in those early relationships, I’d want it most days. Then I’d realise I was staying up too late or drinking too much. Finally, I figured out how I like sex best, and instead of feeling guilty, I tell my partner how and when: not at night, when I’m tired; sometimes scheduled (not on the calendar, but might as well be); quick (no foreplay); and in a sure-to-work way (mostly me on top).
I say it in a positive, casual tone and in the end, it usually shakes out that one of us says, ‘ Wanna have sex later?’ My partners have all been happily on board. There’s less guessing and less chance of rejection when a man knows that I’m in the mood. I feel happier and sexier being confident enough to say what I want and he’s happy he’s making me feel good.” – Laura, 30