WRITE SOME­THING YOU LOVE ABOUT HER ON TONS OF STICKY NOTES, THEN PUT THEM ALL OVER HER CAR

Good Housekeeping (South Africa) - - YOUR LIFE -

Be­cause what’s sex­ier than a sticky note? As my friend put it, ‘This is so nuts, I think you have to try it.’ As usual, she was right. Since we don’t drive much, I had to come up with an al­ter­na­tive. I set­tled on the bath­room mir­ror, stole a pad from work and spent the day writ­ing mes­sages to my wife like: ‘You’re much hot­ter than the other moms’, ‘You look 33. 34 tops’, ‘Thanks for lis­ten­ing to most of my whin­ing’, and ‘I would to­tally marry you again’. Ad­mir­ing my work, I had to ad­mit there was some­thing sweet about the whole thing. RE­SULTS: In one of the most shock­ing twists since Bruce Willis re­alised he was a dead per­son, my wife loved this. She thought the notes were touch­ing and thought­ful. They stayed on the mir­ror for days, which didn’t do won­ders for my hair­style, but it made me feel good about mak­ing her happy.

At the risk of mess­ing that up, I blurted out, ‘Guess what? I’ve been writ­ing an ar­ti­cle about our mar­riage!’ Her re­sponse sur­prised me. All along, I had fig­ured that these ‘ex­pert’ tips ei­ther worked (led to sex) or didn’t. But she asked, ‘Wouldn’t it be weird if they did work?’ Mean­ing: if we were hav­ing prob­lems, it would be strange to hop into bed just be­cause I wrote a bunch of sticky notes.

I now see that spic­ing up your mar­riage isn’t about per­form­ing the right stunt; it’s about con­nect­ing. The tips made me feel ex­cited and en­gaged, hy­per­aware of my wife and even ner­vous – all the stuff you feel early in a re­la­tion­ship that tends to get buried un­der laun­dry. I dis­cov­ered that those feel­ings still ex­ist, which is the best re­sult I never could have pre­dicted. Maybe my wife could have, but then, I al­ready knew she was awe­some.

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