WRITE SOMETHING YOU LOVE ABOUT HER ON TONS OF STICKY NOTES, THEN PUT THEM ALL OVER HER CAR
Because what’s sexier than a sticky note? As my friend put it, ‘This is so nuts, I think you have to try it.’ As usual, she was right. Since we don’t drive much, I had to come up with an alternative. I settled on the bathroom mirror, stole a pad from work and spent the day writing messages to my wife like: ‘You’re much hotter than the other moms’, ‘You look 33. 34 tops’, ‘Thanks for listening to most of my whining’, and ‘I would totally marry you again’. Admiring my work, I had to admit there was something sweet about the whole thing. RESULTS: In one of the most shocking twists since Bruce Willis realised he was a dead person, my wife loved this. She thought the notes were touching and thoughtful. They stayed on the mirror for days, which didn’t do wonders for my hairstyle, but it made me feel good about making her happy.
At the risk of messing that up, I blurted out, ‘Guess what? I’ve been writing an article about our marriage!’ Her response surprised me. All along, I had figured that these ‘expert’ tips either worked (led to sex) or didn’t. But she asked, ‘Wouldn’t it be weird if they did work?’ Meaning: if we were having problems, it would be strange to hop into bed just because I wrote a bunch of sticky notes.
I now see that spicing up your marriage isn’t about performing the right stunt; it’s about connecting. The tips made me feel excited and engaged, hyperaware of my wife and even nervous – all the stuff you feel early in a relationship that tends to get buried under laundry. I discovered that those feelings still exist, which is the best result I never could have predicted. Maybe my wife could have, but then, I already knew she was awesome.