On moth­er­hood and fam­ily…

Good Housekeeping (South Africa) - - FASHION MUST HAVE -

My chil­dren are on my brain all day long. I al­ways won­der where they are and what they are do­ing at this very mo­ment.

I just try to en­cour­age my chil­dren to be the best ver­sions of them­selves that they can be. I don’t want them to be ver­sions of me or their fa­ther, or step­fa­ther for that mat­ter.

I think the unique goal of par­ent­ing is to find out what their pas­sion is and what is uniquely them, and en­cour­age them to be the best ver­sion of that.

Teenagers need you even more than younger kids. You need to talk to them. I tell my daugh­ter all the time that I am not leav­ing un­less she tells me what is go­ing on. My mother worked, and I think it’s good for kids to see women work­ing and be­ing suc­cess­ful. I think it’s go­ing to make them hard work­ers be­cause they see that I don’t get much sleep.

No-one’s re­ally do­ing it [moth­er­hood] per­fectly. I think you love your kids with your whole heart and you do the best you pos­si­bly can…. There are some sac­ri­fices you make, and it hurts your heart some­times, but my kids tell me they’re proud of what I’ve ac­com­plished, and that just means ev­ery­thing. I grew up with a work­ing mom … and I would never be­grudge her that.

My dad was a doc­tor and my mom was a nurse. I think they thought I would pick the same pro­fes­sion. And it could have hap­pened. I think it’s very con­fus­ing to find out what a per­fect man is. What re­ally is a per­fect man? I think we ex­pect a lot of men to­day.

They need to be bread­win­ners and great with the kids. We want them to be emo­tion­ally avail­able, and at the same time tall and at­trac­tive and in great shape. That’s a lot to ask from any­body. It’s con­fus­ing right now what women are and what men are. I think we learn a lot from movies and dif­fer­ent per­spec­tives.

I love get­ting older be­cause I feel much clearer about

things to­day. I am a lot more mis­sion-based. I feel I know why I am do­ing things th­ese days, and I am not just throw­ing things against the wall hop­ing they stick. I feel very clear th­ese days. It’s a good feel­ing.

I got a lot of free ther­apy from Big Lit­tle Lies. I got a lot of an­swers from the other ladies. It was fun to share moth­er­hood ex­pe­ri­ences with the younger ladies like Zoë [Kravitz] and Shai­lene [Wood­ley]. It was re­ally cool. I would send ev­ery­one stupid mom memes like ‘mommy needs a drink’.

I am still vul­ner­a­ble to close friends, but I am in my 40s, [so] I don’t care what peo­ple think so much. I am not [twist­ing] my­self into a pret­zel to make some­body else happy.

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