Learn­ing from a place of fail­ure

Mail & Guardian - - News -

I had a fall­ing-out with my pre­vi­ous record com­pany, so for about four or five years I was kind of ab­sent from the mu­sic in­dus­try.

I re­ally took it hard, you know. I felt like I had hit rock bot­tom. Mu­si­cians are like chil­dren in a way. Like, when you’re not cre­at­ing or sell­ing, you start to feel like you’re not good enough.

So I had a lot of years of self-doubt. It made me spi­ral out of con­trol a bit. I felt hope­less and lost.

One of the songs on the new al­bum is called It’s like a prayer. It’s about pin­ning your hopes on some­one. In English, the lyrics ba­si­cally go some­thing like: “Now that I have given of my­self and left the dark­ness/ Be­cause the deeds of my own hands have once turned on me/ I want you to know that you are ev­ery­thing to me/ You are my power/ Stay near me/ And touch my soul.” The “deeds of my own hands” refers to me los­ing con­trol a bit. I was very self-de­struc­tive. It’s quite weird be­cause I think that, no mat­ter who you are, you al­ways know who you could be. But a lot of us, es­pe­cially black chil­dren, suf­fer from that thing of find­ing our high­est potential.

A lot of us don’t grow up with that self-con­fi­dence, that self-be­lief and self-as­sur­ance. I def­i­nitely strug­gled with it. You know, that thing of think­ing that what I do is im­por­tant.

Self-value has been a dif­fi­cult thing for me. But I’m def­i­nitely in a bet­ter space now. I now kind of un­der­stand that life is never a utopia. You’re al­ways chang­ing and fix­ing, and grow­ing and learn­ing. And fail­ing.

And as much as no­body wants to be in that place of fail­ure, I’ve ac­tu­ally come to learn a lot from my fail­ures and my mis­takes.

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