Check, my mate was right

The smart lawyer’s money was on Zuma screw­ing the sys­tem – and Gi­gaba, well, him­self

Mail & Guardian - - Comment & Analysis -

pres­i­dent of the ANC and, ul­ti­mately, of the Re­pub­lic.

My mate also pre­dicted loot­ing on a grand scale dur­ing Zuma’s term of of­fice, ar­gu­ing that Daddy would evis­cer­ate the gov­ern­ing party and the state and was quite pre­pared to run the ANC into the ground in the process.

I agreed re­spect­fully to dis­agree, some­what daz­zled by the trio of Squires’ judg­ment, my be­lief in the crim­i­nal jus­tice sys­tem and in the for­mer lib­er­a­tion move­ment. There was no way he could beat the rap. Even if he did sur­vive and make it to the ANC pres­i­dency, Zuma’s al­lies on the left would keep him in check, stop him loot­ing.

It turns out I was wrong. Badly. Zuma’s still not be­hind bars, more than a decade later, de­spite the Na­tional Pros­e­cut­ing Author­ity’s de­ci­sion to charge him again, so my mate ap­pears to have been right about Daddy’s sur­vival ca­pa­bil­i­ties.

The daily sit­tings of the Zondo com­mis­sion into state cap­ture con­firm his pre­dic­tion of loot­ing on an in­dus­trial scale.

The ANC lead­er­ship spends more time in court than in Luthuli House these days, so my mate’s call on the ef­fect on the gov­ern­ing party also ap­pears to be on the money.

My mate was on cam­pus with Home Af­fairs Min­is­ter Malusi Gi­gaba.

My mate didn’t think much of Gi­gaba, not be­cause he was a Manch­ester United fan, but be­cause he was, in my mate’s words, a wanker.

My mate reck­oned Gi­gaba was all mouth and suit, a talk­ing head who would say what­ever he was told to say as long as some­body else picked up his cloth­ing tab. My mate pre­dicted it would all end in tears for Gi­gaba, whom he de­scribed as “big on form, low on con­tent”.

My mate must be gig­gling right now. What he has known all along, that Gi­gaba is a wanker, has now been proven, not by a third party, but by the min­is­ter him­self.

I won­der what Gi­gaba was think­ing when he hit send? Clearly not about the run­ning of his depart­ment. Did Gi­gaba re­ally think that the video would never come back to bite him on the ass? No­body could be that arrogant and stupid, could they?

I’m no in­no­cent when it comes to dick pics or mas­tur­ba­tion, but I kicked the habit of tech­ni­colour self-flag­el­la­tion be­fore I got mar­ried. I also gen­er­ally kept my head out of them, fo­cus­ing rather on my pe­nis, which was the aim of the ex­er­cise.

I also avoided pub­lic of­fice at the time.

Then again, I’m not Malusi Gi­gaba. Per­haps Gi­gaba is a stu­dent of the late Mi­nor­ity Front leader Amic­hand Ra­jbansi. Not in his de­sire to plea­sure him­self, film it and dis­sem­i­nate the re­sult, but in his ap­proach to pub­lic­ity.

The Tiger, as he was known, was at the cen­tre of con­tro­versy all of his pub­lic life. The Tiger, a man with an im­mensely thick skin, reck­oned that, for a politi­cian, there was no such thing as bad pub­lic­ity.

Per­haps Gi­gaba’s spin team leaked the video in a bid to di­vert at­ten­tion from his more se­ri­ous le­gal prob­lems.

Per­haps Gi­gaba is plan­ning a ca­reer as a porn star if he doesn’t end up in jail and fig­ures this is a good way to get a foot in the door in the in­dus­try.

Per­haps.

My mate pre­dicted it would all end in tears for Gi­gaba, whom he de­scribed as “big on form, low on con­tent”

Ben­gal Tiger: The apartheid-era politi­cian Amic­hand Ra­jbansi lived the motto that there was no such thing as bad pub­lic­ity, and the writer sus­pects Malusi Gi­gaba has been tak­ing notes. Photo: Alexan­der Joe/AFP

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