REAL LIVES

I think I saw you on Tin­der Three women re­port on their dat­ing-app hook-ups

Marie Claire (South Africa) - - CONTENTS - AS TOLD TO SARAH KOOP­MAN

re­mem­ber when an in­ter­est­ing stranger you met on a night out would call to in­vite you to din­ner or a movie af­ter col­lect­ing and then drop­ping you off at your house and you would then mull over the qual­ity of the con­ver­sa­tion as a proxy for whether you would like to see him again? Dat­ing. Things have come some way since the days when two people were court­ing or ‘go­ing steady’. For Gen­er­a­tion Y, raised in the age of ‘hook-up’ cul­ture, it is more than ac­cept­able to court or date a num­ber of dif­fer­ent prospec­tive part­ners with the in­ten­tion of find­ing the best match and only then start­ing a se­ries of ‘exclusive’ so­cial ac­tiv­i­ties and in­ti­mate re­la­tions. And that ex­clu­siv­ity can­not be taken for granted. The Western dat­ing cul­ture is more lib­eral than be­fore – where see­ing more than one per­son ‘non-ex­clu­sively’ is ac­cept­able and part of the ac­tive dat­ing scene. It can be ex­haust­ing – head­ing to bars with a group of girl­friends, try­ing to de­cide which of the less than el­i­gi­ble bach­e­lors are worth some small talk. The ques­tion on ev­ery­one’s lips is: ‘Where do people meet people?’ If not through friends or so­cial ac­tiv­i­ties like salsa classes or run­ning clubs, it can be dif­fi­cult to source a new pool of people to even start the dat­ing game with.In SA, more than three con­sec­u­tive dates with the same per­son, with the pos­si­ble in­clu­sion of a kiss by the third date, leads to ques­tions about a cou­ple’s sta­tus and con­cur­rently ‘see­ing’ more than one man non-ex­clu­sively is frowned upon. But, as with all of life’s quan­daries, there are apps de­signed to solve that prob­lem. From the com­fort of your couch, you can browse the profiles of men in your area and then, should you both be in­ter­ested, you can take your mu­tual in­ter­est off­line and meet up. This con­ve­nience speeds up the dat­ing process and al­lows you to meet more people. As the fastest-grow­ing mo­bile dat­ing app in the world, it comes as no sur­prise that Tin­der has caught the at­ten­tion of sin­gle­tons.

RE­BECCA WEARS

COAT, R1 500, JUMP SUIT, R829, BOTH TOP­SHOP;

SHOES, R1 099,

ZARA.

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