REBECCA BROWN*, 32,
I set out to explore the dating world in all its glory this year and document each one. After downloading Tinder, I had a few underwhelming experiences, some interesting, but this particular one was an absolute disaster. This man, as far as dating-app information goes, ticked all the boxes: erudite, charming, seemingly laid-back, successful, very funny and also an artist. Oh, and handsome and sexy and sporty. The whole dating ideal in one man (warning: there is generally always something wrong with these ‘ideal’ types). We met at Il Leone for lunch. He looked hot, greeted me with a kiss and an affectionate hug and ordered us Bloody Marys. I had barely sat down when he informed me, apropos of nothing, that he doesn’t want a relationship. Now, had I walked in wearing a wedding dress, this would have been justified. I was under the impression we were meeting for a fun lunch to get to know each other before anyone put any labels on anything. Wrong, it seems. There’s nothing like that statement as opening banter to flatten a girl. I struggled from then on as we dealt with the fact that his ex is a hermit, how he struggles to remain positive while dating and one more how much he loves being single. I found it strange that he was even using a dating app in the first place. Let’s not forget the little soliloquy on how he has multiple personas and thinks of himself as a ‘polychromatic flexitarian’. The lunch was beyond awkward and I should have stood up and left. To add insult to injury, as we said goodbye outside, he kissed me, saying he would ‘find me’ or code for ‘Don’t you dare get in touch’, which I wasn’t planning on doing any way. I said something mature like, ‘All the best with that single life’ but I really was so angry at that point. I’m yet to give up on Tinder, but this was a hearty reminder to trust my gut. You don’t always get what you think you’re getting and if it sounds too good to be true – it probably is.
‘I had an absolute disaster date’
REBECCA WEARS JUMP SUIT, R829, TOPSHOP; SHOES, R1 099, ZARA. PREVIOUS PAGE COAT, R1 500, TOPSHOP.