RE­BECCA BROWN*, 32,

BLOG­GER, KISSTHEFROGS.WEE­BLY.COM

Marie Claire (South Africa) - - REAL LIVES -

I set out to ex­plore the dat­ing world in all its glory this year and doc­u­ment each one. Af­ter down­load­ing Tin­der, I had a few un­der­whelm­ing ex­pe­ri­ences, some in­ter­est­ing, but this par­tic­u­lar one was an ab­so­lute dis­as­ter. This man, as far as dat­ing-app in­for­ma­tion goes, ticked all the boxes: eru­dite, charm­ing, seem­ingly laid-back, suc­cess­ful, very funny and also an artist. Oh, and hand­some and sexy and sporty. The whole dat­ing ideal in one man (warn­ing: there is gen­er­ally al­ways some­thing wrong with these ‘ideal’ types). We met at Il Leone for lunch. He looked hot, greeted me with a kiss and an af­fec­tion­ate hug and or­dered us Bloody Marys. I had barely sat down when he in­formed me, apro­pos of noth­ing, that he doesn’t want a re­la­tion­ship. Now, had I walked in wear­ing a wed­ding dress, this would have been jus­ti­fied. I was un­der the im­pres­sion we were meet­ing for a fun lunch to get to know each other be­fore any­one put any la­bels on any­thing. Wrong, it seems. There’s noth­ing like that state­ment as open­ing ban­ter to flat­ten a girl. I strug­gled from then on as we dealt with the fact that his ex is a her­mit, how he strug­gles to re­main pos­i­tive while dat­ing and one more how much he loves be­ing sin­gle. I found it strange that he was even us­ing a dat­ing app in the first place. Let’s not for­get the lit­tle so­lil­o­quy on how he has mul­ti­ple per­sonas and thinks of him­self as a ‘poly­chro­matic flex­i­tar­ian’. The lunch was be­yond awk­ward and I should have stood up and left. To add in­sult to in­jury, as we said good­bye out­side, he kissed me, say­ing he would ‘find me’ or code for ‘Don’t you dare get in touch’, which I wasn’t plan­ning on do­ing any way. I said some­thing ma­ture like, ‘All the best with that sin­gle life’ but I re­ally was so an­gry at that point. I’m yet to give up on Tin­der, but this was a hearty re­minder to trust my gut. You don’t al­ways get what you think you’re get­ting and if it sounds too good to be true – it prob­a­bly is.

‘I had an ab­so­lute dis­as­ter date’

RE­BECCA WEARS JUMP SUIT, R829, TOP­SHOP; SHOES, R1 099, ZARA. PRE­VI­OUS PAGE COAT, R1 500, TOP­SHOP.

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