Q: WHAT DO I DO WHEN HIS PE­NIS IS UN­COM­FORT­ABLY BIG (OR UN­COM­FORT­ABLY SMALL)?

Marie Claire (South Africa) - - HEALTH -

A: Chang­ing po­si­tions and fo­cus­ing on plea­sure rather than per­for­mance can help. It won’t change his size, but this should help change your ex­pe­ri­ence. If he’s un­com­fort­ably big for you, try sit­ting on top or ly­ing side-by-side fac­ing him – if you have con­trol over the amount of pen­e­tra­tion, the depth of thrust­ing and the pace of sex, you can make it far more en­joy­able for your­self. Use wa­ter- or sil­i­cone-based lu­bri­cant (oil-based prod­ucts can lead to mi­cro-tears in a con­dom as well as vagi­nal in­fec­tion) to help make sex more plea­sur­able. Rock your pelvis back and forth rather than mov­ing up and down or thrust­ing in and out. This will not only be more com­fort­able, but you’ll also re­ceive in­di­rect cli­toral stim­u­la­tion. If he’s too small, try po­si­tions that will lead to deeper pen­e­tra­tion. Any po­si­tion where he is be­hind you will feel more sat­is­fy­ing for you both, so try ‘doggy style’ or ‘re­verse cow­girl’. Fo­cus on teas­ing and pleas­ing each other in other ways – think erotic mas­sage, stripteases or oral sex. Let sex be about how you can turn each other on and sat­isfy each other from head to toe, and not just on get­ting aroused and reach­ing or­gasm.

OUR RES­I­DENT EX­PERT Sex­ol­o­gist Ca­tri­ona Bof­fard an­swers your most press­ing sex ques­tions

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