STRAIGHT TALK FROM YOUR GBF

Marie Claire (South Africa) - - SEX & LOVE 101 -

TO SPICE UP THEIR SEX LIVES

I’M SEE­ING THIS GREAT GUY WHO MAKES ME FEEL LOVED AND SE­CURE, BUT HE LACKS THE SPON­TA­NEOUS HU­MOUR I’VE EN­JOYED IN MY PRE­VI­OUS RE­LA­TION­SHIPS. WOULD I BE MAK­ING THE RIGHT DE­CI­SION IN HOLD­ING OUT FOR SOME­ONE ELSE, OR SHOULD I LOOK PAST THIS LIT­TLE FLAW?

Bring­ing you the truth about love and dat­ing in a way your girl­friends wouldn’t dare

‘That’s the key to hav­ing it all: stop ex­pect­ing it to look like what you thought it was go­ing to look like.’ This is one of my favourite quotes from Sex and The City, when Car­rie Brad­shaw ques­tions who she re­ally wants as a part­ner: is it the one who treats her to lav­ish din­ners, or the one who gen­uinely cares for her?

The fact is that you’re never go­ing to have the ‘ per­fect’ re­la­tion­ship or the ideal man, and the only way to truly em­brace the con­nec­tion you two share is to stop the com­par­isons to past boyfriends, and the har­bour­ing of un­re­al­is­tic ex­pec­ta­tions.That ‘per­fect’ man who cooks your din­ner, makes you laugh, re­mem­bers your mom’s birth­day and makes you or­gasm ev­ery time does not ex­ist.

That said, nd­ing a mean­ing­ful and sin­cere re­la­tion­ship doesn’t mean ac­cept­ing be­hav­iour you don’t ap­pre­ci­ate. It’s about con­sid­er­ing what type of part­ner you want in your life and look­ing be­yond the su­per cial check­list that dic­tates the ‘per­fect re­la­tion­ship’. If he makes you feel loved and se­cure, but doesn’t make you laugh, you need to ask your­self this: are you will­ing to give him up for some­one who is emo­tion­ally un­avail­able but has you gig­gling hys­ter­i­cally? Is it not bet­ter to let go of the in­signi cant wants like ‘funny’, ‘great hair’ and ‘handy around the house’ for a man you can hon­estly share your life with? @ZiyaadBassier

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