HOT SEX HACKS from the LGBT com­mu­nity

Look­ing to try some­thing new tonight? ALIX FOX rounds up the best same-sex tech­niques ev­ery­one can en­joy

Marie Claire (South Africa) - - REAL LIFE -

Not all types of love look the same. Nei­ther does all love­mak­ing. What hap­pens in LGBT re­la­tion­ships is o en di er­ent to what goes down be­neath the du­vet for het­ero­sex­ual cou­ples. But where ‘tra­di­tional’ pe­nis-in-vagina sex is im­pos­si­ble, a mul­ti­tude of al­ter­na­tive forms of car­nal plea­sure are now on o er, and straight cou­ples could ar­guably bene t from bor­row­ing a tech­nique or two.

Same-sex lovers have a bet­ter un­der­stand­ing of how a cer­tain touch or po­si­tion feels for their part­ner. A er all, some­one who pos­sesses a par­tic­u­lar or­gan – be it a pe­nis or cli­toris – will have a good idea on how to op­er­ate it for some­one’s plea­sure, too.

How­ever, it’s about more than just the phys­i­cal side of sex. Queer com­mu­ni­ties fre­quently em­brace more open at­ti­tudes to sex than the het­ero norm. Whether it’s think­ing be­yond pen­e­tra­tion or chal­leng­ing gen­der stereo­types, many straight­sex lives could be rev­o­lu­tionised by a frank Q A ses­sion with the LGBT play­ers. Here, a few non-het­ero­sex­u­als share their hottest bed­room ad­vice.

GO SHOP­PING FOR POWER TOOLS

‘Straight women are told sex toys must be “dis­creet” to avoid mak­ing their part­ner feel like he is threat­ened by a ma­chine,’ says Rashmi Ma­lik, who is ho­mo­sex­ual. She wor­ries some women choose de­vices like bul­let vi­bra­tors to avoid emas­cu­lat­ing men, when they may ac­tu­ally need more pow­er­ful toys to get o .

‘Les­bians pick play­things to get re­sults, rather than at­ter­ing some­one’s ego,’ she says. ‘As women, we un­der­stand it’s no judge­ment on us if our part­ners need in­tense stim­u­la­tion to come, so we aren’t in­tim­i­dated by toys like mas­sage wands.’

Wands emit strong vi­bra­tions and are famed for giv­ing count­less women their rst Big O. ‘I feel badass wield­ing a he y

wand with enough oomph to make my girl­friend or­gasm, even through her jeans,’ says Rashmi. ‘Maybe if straight men viewed such toys as power tools that al­low them to bring lovers new lev­els of ec­stasy, they’d see them as as­sets, not en­e­mies.’

Try sug­gest­ing a wand to your part­ner by sell­ing it as the ‘ultimate’ sex toy and frame it as some­thing that will make him feel mighty, not un­der­mined. Doxy mas­sagers (from R3 299, De­sir.co. a are su­perb, and come in pretty nishes as a mild con­ces­sion to less­en­ing their in­dus­trial feel.

DITCH THE AS­SUMP­TION THAT SEX AL­WAYS HAS TO END UP WITH PEN­E­TRA­TION

Alyssa Black is a trans­gen­der woman who’s pan­sex­ual – she’s at­tracted to peo­ple re­gard­less of gen­der. ‘Although I have a pe­nis, the fem­i­nis­ing hor­mones I take weaken my erec­tions,’ she says. ‘I could take Vi­a­gra, but in­stead I fo­cus on other ways to give and re­ceive plea­sure. Re­mov­ing the ob­vi­ous “putting my pe­nis in an ori ce from be­ing the pri­mary goal of sex­ual in­ter­ac­tions has made my love life signi cantly bet­ter.’

Bi­sex­ual Reed Am­ber, co-founder of sex vlog Come Cu­ri­ous, en­joys ex­tended nip­ple play. ‘Tweak­ing or suck­ing nip­ples is some­thing many straight cou­ples do only eet­ingly dur­ing fore­play,’ she says. ‘But if you make nips your fo­cal point and build up sen­si­tiv­ity over a long ses­sion, you might be sur­prised by how sen­sual they feel. Good sex doesn’t al­ways mean, “stick­ing some­thing into some­thing .’

BLOW HIS MIND WITH A TEASE-BUILD­ING BLOW JOB

‘Many ads from gay guys on Grindr ask for hookups where they’ll just get a good old dick-suck­ing,’ says Mas­ter Do­minic, an award-win­ning gay pro­fes­sional dom­i­nant who runs adult work­shops. ‘I sus­pect many straight dudes would love to sit back and savour be­ing blown oc­ca­sion­ally, and for that to be the sole fo­cus of a sex ses­sion, but they fear women will think they’re sel sh pigs for ask­ing,’ he adds. ‘ et, even for the most giv­ing guy, it’s a treat to be able to re­lax into get­ting head with­out wor­ry­ing about hav­ing to con­serve energy for ac­tion a er­wards.’

Mas­ter D sug­gests telling your lover tonight is ‘just about you do­ing the suck­ing – no fuck­ing.’ Start with gen­tle nib­bles and licks through his un­der­wear while he’s hard. This adds a layer of un­usual sen­sa­tion and builds the tease, which will send him wild.

ROLE WITH IT: LOOK BE­YOND RE­STRIC­TIVE GEN­DER NORMS FOR EX­TRA PLEA­SURE

‘Same-sex cou­ples are less likely to fall into gen­dered clichés when role-play­ing in the bed­room: when you’ve got two men or two women to­gether, it’s not as ob­vi­ous who “ought to be in charge,’ ex­plain Drew Har­vey Big­gle­stone and Ian Di­a­mond, who have been to­gether for 15 years and now run an adult store.

Many ex­cit­ing ad­ven­tures await straight cou­ples if they’re will­ing to push against the bound­aries so­ci­ety says males and fe­males should oc­cupy. ‘Why can’t you throw him around like a lum­ber­jack or re ghter ’ sug­gests Drew. ‘What about him in­ti­mately pam­per­ing you by do­ing your hair or nails ’

Gay blog­ger Luke (@Bear­dynoise) ad­vo­cates het­ero­sex­u­als read­ing queer erot­ica for in­spi­ra­tion. ‘I’ve picked up awe­some moves from -rated sto­ries on i y.org,’ he says. ‘There are fas­ci­nat­ing cat­e­gories, like “Sto­ries set in ru­ral lo­ca­tions and even a speci c “Hot but no sex sec­tion.’ So, what are you wait­ing for ou’ve got the low­down, now start ex­per­i­ment­ing.

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