HOT SEX HACKS from the LGBT community
Looking to try something new tonight? ALIX FOX rounds up the best same-sex techniques everyone can enjoy
Not all types of love look the same. Neither does all lovemaking. What happens in LGBT relationships is o en di erent to what goes down beneath the duvet for heterosexual couples. But where ‘traditional’ penis-in-vagina sex is impossible, a multitude of alternative forms of carnal pleasure are now on o er, and straight couples could arguably bene t from borrowing a technique or two.
Same-sex lovers have a better understanding of how a certain touch or position feels for their partner. A er all, someone who possesses a particular organ – be it a penis or clitoris – will have a good idea on how to operate it for someone’s pleasure, too.
However, it’s about more than just the physical side of sex. Queer communities frequently embrace more open attitudes to sex than the hetero norm. Whether it’s thinking beyond penetration or challenging gender stereotypes, many straightsex lives could be revolutionised by a frank Q A session with the LGBT players. Here, a few non-heterosexuals share their hottest bedroom advice.
GO SHOPPING FOR POWER TOOLS
‘Straight women are told sex toys must be “discreet” to avoid making their partner feel like he is threatened by a machine,’ says Rashmi Malik, who is homosexual. She worries some women choose devices like bullet vibrators to avoid emasculating men, when they may actually need more powerful toys to get o .
‘Lesbians pick playthings to get results, rather than attering someone’s ego,’ she says. ‘As women, we understand it’s no judgement on us if our partners need intense stimulation to come, so we aren’t intimidated by toys like massage wands.’
Wands emit strong vibrations and are famed for giving countless women their rst Big O. ‘I feel badass wielding a he y
wand with enough oomph to make my girlfriend orgasm, even through her jeans,’ says Rashmi. ‘Maybe if straight men viewed such toys as power tools that allow them to bring lovers new levels of ecstasy, they’d see them as assets, not enemies.’
Try suggesting a wand to your partner by selling it as the ‘ultimate’ sex toy and frame it as something that will make him feel mighty, not undermined. Doxy massagers (from R3 299, Desir.co. a are superb, and come in pretty nishes as a mild concession to lessening their industrial feel.
DITCH THE ASSUMPTION THAT SEX ALWAYS HAS TO END UP WITH PENETRATION
Alyssa Black is a transgender woman who’s pansexual – she’s attracted to people regardless of gender. ‘Although I have a penis, the feminising hormones I take weaken my erections,’ she says. ‘I could take Viagra, but instead I focus on other ways to give and receive pleasure. Removing the obvious “putting my penis in an ori ce from being the primary goal of sexual interactions has made my love life signi cantly better.’
Bisexual Reed Amber, co-founder of sex vlog Come Curious, enjoys extended nipple play. ‘Tweaking or sucking nipples is something many straight couples do only eetingly during foreplay,’ she says. ‘But if you make nips your focal point and build up sensitivity over a long session, you might be surprised by how sensual they feel. Good sex doesn’t always mean, “sticking something into something .’
BLOW HIS MIND WITH A TEASE-BUILDING BLOW JOB
‘Many ads from gay guys on Grindr ask for hookups where they’ll just get a good old dick-sucking,’ says Master Dominic, an award-winning gay professional dominant who runs adult workshops. ‘I suspect many straight dudes would love to sit back and savour being blown occasionally, and for that to be the sole focus of a sex session, but they fear women will think they’re sel sh pigs for asking,’ he adds. ‘ et, even for the most giving guy, it’s a treat to be able to relax into getting head without worrying about having to conserve energy for action a erwards.’
Master D suggests telling your lover tonight is ‘just about you doing the sucking – no fucking.’ Start with gentle nibbles and licks through his underwear while he’s hard. This adds a layer of unusual sensation and builds the tease, which will send him wild.
ROLE WITH IT: LOOK BEYOND RESTRICTIVE GENDER NORMS FOR EXTRA PLEASURE
‘Same-sex couples are less likely to fall into gendered clichés when role-playing in the bedroom: when you’ve got two men or two women together, it’s not as obvious who “ought to be in charge,’ explain Drew Harvey Bigglestone and Ian Diamond, who have been together for 15 years and now run an adult store.
Many exciting adventures await straight couples if they’re willing to push against the boundaries society says males and females should occupy. ‘Why can’t you throw him around like a lumberjack or re ghter ’ suggests Drew. ‘What about him intimately pampering you by doing your hair or nails ’
Gay blogger Luke (@Beardynoise) advocates heterosexuals reading queer erotica for inspiration. ‘I’ve picked up awesome moves from -rated stories on i y.org,’ he says. ‘There are fascinating categories, like “Stories set in rural locations and even a speci c “Hot but no sex section.’ So, what are you waiting for ou’ve got the lowdown, now start experimenting.