SEX TALK WITH BABALWA
Dr Babalwa Funda kaMabhoza is an educational sexologist and business woman. She is a member of the South African Sexual Health Association (SASHA) and African Society for Sexual Medicine (ASSM).
I COME TOO FAST I’m a 31-year-old man. My problem is that I ejaculate too fast. Even when I take time with foreplay, I still produce semen. What could be the cause? ANONYMOUS, KIMBERLEY
There are a number of reasons that might lead to early ejaculation, but it is best diagnosed by a urologist, who diagnoses and treat diseases of the urinary tract.
Usually for a lot of men the first round is very short and the following ones are usually longer.
What is important is that even after ejaculation or orgasm always find ways of making sure that your partner finishes too. I suggest that you consult a urologist.
IS ORAL SEX SAFE? Is it safe to have oral sex and what must I use to prevent any infections? ANONYMOUS, EAST LONDON
Oral sex is giving pleasure using your lips or tongue, but there is no formula on how it’s done. It’s important to make sure your partner is comfortable and enjoying it. For your safety, it is best to use a condom or dental dam for the private part and anal areas.
SHE FEELS TOO BIG I’m a 43-year old man and I enjoy trying different sexual positions.
My problem is that my partner has a big private part and this makes me not enjoy sex with her. I only enjoy having sex with younger women. Please help. ANONYMOUS, SOSHANGUVE
The female private part is a highly specialised muscle meant to contract and relax as and when required.
The mind is one of the biggest sex organs needed to enjoy sex. Your problem might be more psychological than physical.
As you say you like different positions, there are positions that might give you more satisfaction with your partner than others. Talk to her about trying a few things to strengthen her vaginal muscle, such as Kegel exercises or the use of exercise balls. Having multiple sex partners might create more problems for you.
I WANT A BABY I’m a 26-year-old woman and my partner is 42 years old. I would like to have a baby, but my partner has diabetes. Will it affect us having a baby? ANONYMOUS, MAHIKENG
One of the complications of diabetes is the reduction of sperm count and the quality of the sperm might be affected too. Please consult a doctor.
I DON’T REACH CLIMAX I’m a 40-year-old woman who is in love with a 54-year-old man. Although he is wonderful, my problem is that I do not reach a climax when we make love. ANONYMOUS, CAPE TOWN
Perhaps you are both expecting that you should reach climax when he is penetrating you.
Many people pound away, hoping and waiting for the woman to have an orgasm. And she is usually praying that he will finish and give her clitoral stimulation.
Most women need clitoral stimulation to reach an orgasm. Try this out with him. If you’re nervous, you can try it alone with masturbation.