‘I hate my MOTHER?’
Readers advise a woman who resents her mom for mistreating her and her sister
Q SHE PUNISHED US BECAUSE OF THE BAD THINGS OUR ABSENT FATHER DID TO HER
I am a 32-year-old woman who hates her mother. She mistreated my younger sister and myself when we were still young. This went on for more than 10 years. She used to cook, eat up the food alone, and make us wash the pots and dishes. She punished us for the bad things our absent father did to her. Some of things she did to us are too hurtful to mention. But our step-father treats us well and now my mother thinks I am after her man. If my mom could die tomorrow, I wouldn’t cry or feel any pain. Is it normal for a child to hate her mother this way? RESENTFUL DAUGHTER
I may not understand the pain you went through, but it is not worth your while to hate your mom. It may be hard, but forgiveness will do you good. It was wrong of your mom to punish you for your father’s mistakes, but forgiving her will ease the pain you are experiencing.
For your own sanity and peace of mind, seek closure by finding a psychologist who will help you to iron out your issues. Forgive her and move on as this can also affect your parenting skills in future.
I understand how you feel, but I think your mom was depressed. That’s why she took her anger out on you and your younger sister. What you must do is to get psychological and spiritual help before you turn into a bitter mom yourself.
I wish our mothers can stop doing that. We didn’t ask our fathers to treat them badly. All I can say is be strong. No matter what your mom does, focus on rebuilding your relationship with her.