‘I hate my MOTHER?’

Read­ers ad­vise a woman who re­sents her mom for mis­treat­ing her and her sis­ter

Move! - - HELP-A-SISTA -

Q SHE PUN­ISHED US BE­CAUSE OF THE BAD THINGS OUR AB­SENT FATHER DID TO HER

I am a 32-year-old woman who hates her mother. She mis­treated my younger sis­ter and my­self when we were still young. This went on for more than 10 years. She used to cook, eat up the food alone, and make us wash the pots and dishes. She pun­ished us for the bad things our ab­sent father did to her. Some of things she did to us are too hurt­ful to men­tion. But our step-father treats us well and now my mother thinks I am after her man. If my mom could die to­mor­row, I wouldn’t cry or feel any pain. Is it nor­mal for a child to hate her mother this way? RE­SENT­FUL DAUGH­TER

LEBO MOGASHANE

I may not un­der­stand the pain you went through, but it is not worth your while to hate your mom. It may be hard, but for­give­ness will do you good. It was wrong of your mom to pun­ish you for your father’s mis­takes, but for­giv­ing her will ease the pain you are ex­pe­ri­enc­ing.

SIZIWE MATITI

For your own san­ity and peace of mind, seek clo­sure by find­ing a psy­chol­o­gist who will help you to iron out your is­sues. For­give her and move on as this can also af­fect your par­ent­ing skills in fu­ture.

NEGLY MAMPANE

I un­der­stand how you feel, but I think your mom was de­pressed. That’s why she took her anger out on you and your younger sis­ter. What you must do is to get psy­cho­log­i­cal and spir­i­tual help be­fore you turn into a bitter mom your­self.

NTOMBENHLE MYEZA

I wish our moth­ers can stop do­ing that. We didn’t ask our fa­thers to treat them badly. All I can say is be strong. No mat­ter what your mom does, fo­cus on re­build­ing your re­la­tion­ship with her.

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