SEX TALK WITH BABALWA
Q HOW SAFE IS ORAL SEX?
I met this guy and I would like to take our relationship to the next level, starting by kissing him. I also like oral sex. Can I contract diseases during kissing and oral sex? ANONYMOUS, BRITS
A In the same way that you do your yearly or timely medical check-ups, make sure you look after your oral health. For example, visit your dentist regularly and brush your teeth after every meal. The mouth is one of the body parts with most micro-organisms and diseases can spread through kissing. Exchange of saliva and other body fluids in the case of oral sex can lead to the organism’s exchange. But most of the time, they will not lead to infections and diseases as our immune system is able to fight possible infection as long as it is not compromised. If you are practicing safe sex, make sure that during oral sex you use a condom and dental dam or cling wrap.
Q I’M LOSING INTEREST IN SEX
I have been with my partner for five years and we used to enjoy sex a lot. Now I feel bored and I always tell him I am tired or have a headache when he asks for sex. How can I enjoy sex again? ANONYMOUS, EMALAHLENI
A Sex is a journey that needs partners involved to consciously keep it alive and interesting. It’s very easy to neglect sex when other responsibilities set in. Make sex a priority too. With time if you are not innovative, it can get boring. You must create an environment of allowing yourself to naturally show your needs.
Reflect on when you lost interest and what were the challenges that were the potential causes and deal with them.
Q MY PRIVATE PART SMELLS
I always feel like my private part smells very bad and I get embarrassed when my partner wants us to have oral sex with me. What can I do? ANONYMOUS, UMLAZI
A All people have their unique scent that cannot be removed. The private part also has its natural odour or scent, which can be altered by certain factors such as sweating, overgrowth of yeasts or infections.
If the vaginal odour is very strong and you see other signs such as burning, itching, offensive discharge, you should worry and I suggest you seek medical intervention urgently.
The private part is naturally self-cleansing; just make sure that you take a bath before sex.
Q IS MY HUSBAND GAY?
I have been married to my husband for five years and we have two children.
Since we met he continuously asks me to kiss and touch his behind. He even requested that we buy toys for penetrating his anus. I keep on asking him if he is gay and he says he is not. ANONYMOUS, DELMAS
A Women have a G-spot or zone, men too have a prostate “P” spot. P spot is a pleasure spot. The prostate is a soft, walnut shaped organ or gland which is surrounding the urethra – the duct by which urine moves out of the body from the bladder.
Due to stigmatisation and or myths around anal sex most people see it as dirty. But as part of sex evolution, we need to assist each other as partners to explore and enjoy our sexuality and bodies.
Dr Babalwa Funda kaMabhoza is an educational sexologist and business woman. She is a member of the South African Sexual Health Association (SASHA) and African Society for Sexual Medicine (ASSM).