SEX TALK WITH BABALWA
Q ADDICTED TO PORN
My man is addicted to pornography. This makes me feel like I don’t satisfy him in bed. How do I stop him from watching porn? ANONYMOUS, SOWETO
AAddiction is a very serious psychological disease and once identified, it’s important that a person seeks professional help. In this case, I suggest that your partner consults a clinical sexologist and a psychologist. Your partner will never ever have sex with the computer and yes, it can positively contribute to self-love and to your sexual relationship. There is absolutely nothing wrong with watching porn as long as it’s done in a healthy manner and a matured way.
Q HE DOESN’T SATISFY ME
My man has a big manhood but doesn’t satisfy me. What could be the problem? ANONYMOUS, ORMONDE
AYes, everyone has their preferred size, but the reality is that the size of a manhood doesn’t equate to satisfaction. There are a lot of factors that lead to sexual satisfaction and they include the following: knowing your body well and being able to define what satisfies you; the chemistry and understanding that you have with your partner; the skill; being able to communicate and loving and appreciating your partner regardless of the size of their manhood.
Q I’M SCARED THAT HE WILL HURT ME
My boyfriend has a big manhood and I am afraid that this will hurt my cervix. Should I be worried? ANONYMOUS, KATLEHONG
AThe design and the elongation of the vaginal tubular muscle during love making make it almost impossible to hit the cervix under normal circumstances. In cases where the penis has reached the cervix, you will feel pain. When that happens, you can change the position and find one that is comfortable for both of you.
Q HIS MANHOOD HAS CHANGED COLOUR
I’ve noticed a change of colour in my husband’s manhood. What could be causing this? ANONYMOUS, SOWETO
AThe change in the colour of the manhood can occur during an erection. This is because of the blood that fills the organ. Depending on the skin colour of the person, the colour can appear to be purplish. The change of colour, accompanied by other symptoms, can also be an indication of a sexually transmitted disease. The symptoms may include: itching, burning, pain, discomfort and swelling. It’s important that your partner sees a doctor for tests.
Q SUFFERING FROM DIABETES
I am diabetic. How do I make sure that I don’t suffer from premature ejaculation? ANONYMOUS, GA-RANKUWA
AIt’s important to realise that sex satisfaction is not only about penetration but also by making sure that you learn other ways in which you can satisfy your partner. Discuss this with your partner and follow your doctor’s advice.
Dr Babalwa Funda kaMabhoza is an educational sexologist and business woman. She is a member of the South African Sexual Health Association (SASHA) and African Society for Sexual Medicine (ASSM).