SEX TALK WITH BA­BALWA

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Q AD­DICTED TO PORN

My man is ad­dicted to pornog­ra­phy. This makes me feel like I don’t sat­isfy him in bed. How do I stop him from watch­ing porn? ANONY­MOUS, SOWETO

AAd­dic­tion is a very se­ri­ous psy­cho­log­i­cal dis­ease and once iden­ti­fied, it’s im­por­tant that a per­son seeks pro­fes­sional help. In this case, I sug­gest that your part­ner con­sults a clin­i­cal sex­ol­o­gist and a psy­chol­o­gist. Your part­ner will never ever have sex with the com­puter and yes, it can pos­i­tively con­trib­ute to self-love and to your sex­ual re­la­tion­ship. There is ab­so­lutely noth­ing wrong with watch­ing porn as long as it’s done in a healthy man­ner and a ma­tured way.

Q HE DOESN’T SAT­ISFY ME

My man has a big man­hood but doesn’t sat­isfy me. What could be the prob­lem? ANONY­MOUS, OR­MONDE

AYes, every­one has their pre­ferred size, but the re­al­ity is that the size of a man­hood doesn’t equate to sat­is­fac­tion. There are a lot of fac­tors that lead to sex­ual sat­is­fac­tion and they in­clude the fol­low­ing: know­ing your body well and be­ing able to de­fine what sat­is­fies you; the chem­istry and un­der­stand­ing that you have with your part­ner; the skill; be­ing able to com­mu­ni­cate and lov­ing and ap­pre­ci­at­ing your part­ner re­gard­less of the size of their man­hood.

Q I’M SCARED THAT HE WILL HURT ME

My boyfriend has a big man­hood and I am afraid that this will hurt my cervix. Should I be wor­ried? ANONY­MOUS, KATLE­HONG

AThe de­sign and the elon­ga­tion of the vagi­nal tubu­lar mus­cle dur­ing love mak­ing make it al­most im­pos­si­ble to hit the cervix un­der nor­mal cir­cum­stances. In cases where the pe­nis has reached the cervix, you will feel pain. When that hap­pens, you can change the po­si­tion and find one that is com­fort­able for both of you.

Q HIS MAN­HOOD HAS CHANGED COLOUR

I’ve no­ticed a change of colour in my hus­band’s man­hood. What could be caus­ing this? ANONY­MOUS, SOWETO

AThe change in the colour of the man­hood can oc­cur dur­ing an erec­tion. This is be­cause of the blood that fills the or­gan. Depend­ing on the skin colour of the per­son, the colour can ap­pear to be pur­plish. The change of colour, ac­com­pa­nied by other symp­toms, can also be an in­di­ca­tion of a sex­u­ally trans­mit­ted dis­ease. The symp­toms may in­clude: itch­ing, burn­ing, pain, dis­com­fort and swelling. It’s im­por­tant that your part­ner sees a doc­tor for tests.

Q SUF­FER­ING FROM DI­A­BETES

I am di­a­betic. How do I make sure that I don’t suf­fer from pre­ma­ture ejac­u­la­tion? ANONY­MOUS, GA-RANKUWA

AIt’s im­por­tant to re­alise that sex sat­is­fac­tion is not only about pen­e­tra­tion but also by mak­ing sure that you learn other ways in which you can sat­isfy your part­ner. Dis­cuss this with your part­ner and fol­low your doc­tor’s ad­vice.

Dr Ba­balwa Funda kaMab­hoza is an ed­u­ca­tional sex­ol­o­gist and busi­ness woman. She is a mem­ber of the South African Sex­ual Health As­so­ci­a­tion (SASHA) and African So­ci­ety for Sex­ual Medicine (ASSM).

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