SEX TALK WITH BABALWA

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Q WHO IS THE FA­THER OF MY CHILD?

I fell preg­nant af­ter hav­ing an orgy with two guys. Is it pos­si­ble that they can both be the fa­thers of my child? ANONY­MOUS, TEMBA

AIt’s not pos­si­ble for one egg to be fer­tilised by dif­fer­ent sperms. In cases of twins that orig­i­nate from two dif­fer­ent eggs, the phe­nom­ena of be­ing fer­tilised by two dif­fer­ent sperms is a pos­si­bil­ity. Once the egg has been fer­tilised or pierced by a sperm, it cre­ates a pro­tec­tive en­vi­ron­ment to pre­vent an­other sperm cell from en­ter­ing. You need to do a pa­ter­nity test once the child is born to de­ter­mine who the fa­ther of the child is.

Q BEN 10S HAVE SMALL MANHOOD

I love hav­ing sex with younger guys be­cause they have so much en­ergy. The only prob­lem is that their manhood is usu­ally smaller. What can I do to en­joy sex with them? ANONY­MOUS, GA-RANKUWA

AThe size of the manhood is not based on age un­less the man is younger than 21 years, as the growth spurt is usu­ally from 15 to 21 years. Yes, the young gen­er­a­tion has more en­ergy than the older peo­ple but they are still in the process of learn­ing a few things, in­clud­ing the fact that sex is not only about sat­is­fy­ing your­self but your part­ner as well.

So your duty is to tell them how you feel and how you would like to be plea­sured. En­joy­ing sex shouldn’t be mainly based on size, you also have to al­low your­self the free­dom to ex­plore. Try po­si­tions that will in­crease pos­si­bil­i­ties of you feel­ing his manhood. You could also spice up your sex life by be­ing on top, prac­tis­ing oral and anal sex and us­ing some sex toys.

Q CLITORAL PLEA­SURE

I have heard that women with long cli­toris are bet­ter in bed. Is there a way to grow my cli­toris? ANONY­MOUS, MAMELODI

AAll cli­torises have lots of nerve ends and this is in­de­pen­dent of size. I urge you to study and un­der­stand your cli­toris with the un­der­stand­ing that the cli­toris is a mus­cle that is meant for plea­sure.

It is the one part of the vulva has been seen to nat­u­rally in­crease in length. Sur­gi­cal oper­a­tions can be done but are mainly for treat­ment of con­di­tions and dis­eases, but also it’s some­thing that you can ex­plore if a need arises.

Q HE DOESN’T SAT­ISFY ME

My boyfriend likes to fon­dle my breasts and he comes that way and never pen­e­trates me. I never get sat­is­fied. What can I do? ANONY­MOUS, DUR­BAN

ASex is an in­di­vid­ual jour­ney walked in uni­son with the one or ones that you choose. If you are in a sex­ual part­ner­ship, this makes it im­por­tant for you to com­mu­ni­cate and make sure your jour­ney is clear and this is in­clu­sive of what is sat­is­fac­tion to you.

It’s easy to think that you can com­mu­ni­cate in other forms but words. Most of the time that strat­egy has not been very ef­fec­tive. Cre­ate a cul­ture of com­mu­ni­cat­ing in your re­la­tion­ship in the same way you com­mu­ni­cate about other is­sues in your re­la­tion­ship. Sex is fluid and it’s art; you can be able to sat­isfy each other fully in one ses­sion.

Dr Babalwa Funda kaMab­hoza is an ed­u­ca­tional sex­ol­o­gist and busi­ness woman. She is a mem­ber of the South African Sex­ual Health As­so­ci­a­tion (SASHA) and African So­ci­ety for Sex­ual Medicine (ASSM).

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