SEX TALK WITH BABALWA
Q WHO IS THE FATHER OF MY CHILD?
I fell pregnant after having an orgy with two guys. Is it possible that they can both be the fathers of my child? ANONYMOUS, TEMBA
AIt’s not possible for one egg to be fertilised by different sperms. In cases of twins that originate from two different eggs, the phenomena of being fertilised by two different sperms is a possibility. Once the egg has been fertilised or pierced by a sperm, it creates a protective environment to prevent another sperm cell from entering. You need to do a paternity test once the child is born to determine who the father of the child is.
Q BEN 10S HAVE SMALL MANHOOD
I love having sex with younger guys because they have so much energy. The only problem is that their manhood is usually smaller. What can I do to enjoy sex with them? ANONYMOUS, GA-RANKUWA
AThe size of the manhood is not based on age unless the man is younger than 21 years, as the growth spurt is usually from 15 to 21 years. Yes, the young generation has more energy than the older people but they are still in the process of learning a few things, including the fact that sex is not only about satisfying yourself but your partner as well.
So your duty is to tell them how you feel and how you would like to be pleasured. Enjoying sex shouldn’t be mainly based on size, you also have to allow yourself the freedom to explore. Try positions that will increase possibilities of you feeling his manhood. You could also spice up your sex life by being on top, practising oral and anal sex and using some sex toys.
Q CLITORAL PLEASURE
I have heard that women with long clitoris are better in bed. Is there a way to grow my clitoris? ANONYMOUS, MAMELODI
AAll clitorises have lots of nerve ends and this is independent of size. I urge you to study and understand your clitoris with the understanding that the clitoris is a muscle that is meant for pleasure.
It is the one part of the vulva has been seen to naturally increase in length. Surgical operations can be done but are mainly for treatment of conditions and diseases, but also it’s something that you can explore if a need arises.
Q HE DOESN’T SATISFY ME
My boyfriend likes to fondle my breasts and he comes that way and never penetrates me. I never get satisfied. What can I do? ANONYMOUS, DURBAN
ASex is an individual journey walked in unison with the one or ones that you choose. If you are in a sexual partnership, this makes it important for you to communicate and make sure your journey is clear and this is inclusive of what is satisfaction to you.
It’s easy to think that you can communicate in other forms but words. Most of the time that strategy has not been very effective. Create a culture of communicating in your relationship in the same way you communicate about other issues in your relationship. Sex is fluid and it’s art; you can be able to satisfy each other fully in one session.
Dr Babalwa Funda kaMabhoza is an educational sexologist and business woman. She is a member of the South African Sexual Health Association (SASHA) and African Society for Sexual Medicine (ASSM).