‘Fifty Shades’ will help reignite the fire between the sheets
THIS past week has been all about books. On a radio station I listen to, they have chatted to authors and publishers about the state of reading. Almost everyone agreed that EL James’s Fifty Shades of Grey renewed interest and they have seen significant growth in the past years. How to books remain the most popular category.
So I could write about how to or what we learnt from Fifty Shades.
Now you may not have read the books. I did all three in a weekend and my partner and I had the best weekend! If you haven’t read them, join a book club and read the floppy pages because the erotica is written well. It’s the in-between bits that will challenge your constitution.
Why is Christian Grey so attractive? The fact he has lots of money helps but many men have money and they are not. Is it because he is mysteriously handsome? Nope, I know some gorgeous men who have the personality of a rain spider. So what is it?
A disclaimer, these tips are not my own but I think they are spot on:
Take her on dates
He makes an effort to woo her with dates and out-of-thebedroom activities. You don’t need your own personal helicopter to take your partner’s breath away. Even a simple coffee date or a picnic at the park can remind her of how special she is to you. Be creative.
Ask her what she wants
In the world of BDSM, partners are very specific about their likes and dislikes, hard limits and soft limits, and are always tuned in to what gives pleasure. Find out what your partner likes and what she enjoys the most.
Give her more leisure time
Christian Grey is always reminding Ana to take care of herself. Take a note from his play book and make dinner yourself or load the dishwasher instead of leaving the mess for her. Drive her to her destination so she can relax. Chore-play will pay off when she has more energy and desire at the end of the night!
This man knows how to seduce a woman with his natural good looks and what he wears, including a grey tie that’s also used in sexual play. The good news is you don’t have to break out the credit card to reap similar results. Just make an effort to look your best and keep your partner’s interest, whether it’s by hitting the gym a couple times a week or by paying a little extra attention to your appearance on date night. I personally love a man in a crisp white shirt who smells great.
Care about her interests
He finds out what English major Ana is studying in school and sends her a first-edition book by one of her favourite authors. You don’t have to be so extravagant, but it pays to ask your partner what book she is reading or what music or movies she loves. It’s a chance to get to know her more and discover what excites her. How about making a good old-fashioned mixed tape?
Be silly and have fun together
Have inside jokes and fun, flirtatious sayings that bring smiles throughout the day. Blend humour and playfulness into your relationship to help strengthen your bond and heighten your desire.
Keep her desire revved throughout the day
Grey always makes sure that Ana has sex on the brain, whether it’s by sending her naughty e-mails or secretly caressing her when they are out on the town. Do the same.
Don’t forget the chase
Women like to be wooed, so make an effort to keep the chase alive, even after you have been together for years. Send her flowers and compliment her sexy little black dress. It will help remind her that you are more than just room-mates, you are also lovers. Never send flowers as an apology; it spoils flowers forever!
Stay committed to your sexual connection
Great sex doesn’t just happen overnight. It takes commitment, creativity, and openness, and it also takes a willingness to break out of your comfort zone. You don’t have to experiment with BDSM, however, you can start talking about your desires and make a commitment to having regular sex – even if you have to schedule it. Make your sex life and your relationship a priority. A great way to start is to commit to buying a toy and using it.
You’ll be surprised at how sexy it can be.
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