‘Fifty Shades’ will help reignite the fire be­tween the sheets

Saturday Star - - NEWS - SHARON GOR­DON

THIS past week has been all about books. On a ra­dio sta­tion I lis­ten to, they have chat­ted to au­thors and pub­lish­ers about the state of read­ing. Al­most ev­ery­one agreed that EL James’s Fifty Shades of Grey re­newed in­ter­est and they have seen sig­nif­i­cant growth in the past years. How to books re­main the most pop­u­lar cat­e­gory.

So I could write about how to or what we learnt from Fifty Shades.

Now you may not have read the books. I did all three in a week­end and my part­ner and I had the best week­end! If you haven’t read them, join a book club and read the floppy pages be­cause the erot­ica is writ­ten well. It’s the in-be­tween bits that will chal­lenge your con­sti­tu­tion.

Why is Chris­tian Grey so at­trac­tive? The fact he has lots of money helps but many men have money and they are not. Is it be­cause he is mys­te­ri­ously hand­some? Nope, I know some gor­geous men who have the per­son­al­ity of a rain spi­der. So what is it?

A dis­claimer, th­ese tips are not my own but I think they are spot on:

Take her on dates

He makes an ef­fort to woo her with dates and out-of-thebed­room ac­tiv­i­ties. You don’t need your own per­sonal he­li­copter to take your part­ner’s breath away. Even a sim­ple cof­fee date or a pic­nic at the park can re­mind her of how spe­cial she is to you. Be cre­ative.

Ask her what she wants

In the world of BDSM, part­ners are very spe­cific about their likes and dis­likes, hard lim­its and soft lim­its, and are al­ways tuned in to what gives plea­sure. Find out what your part­ner likes and what she en­joys the most.

Give her more leisure time

Chris­tian Grey is al­ways re­mind­ing Ana to take care of her­self. Take a note from his play book and make din­ner your­self or load the dish­washer in­stead of leav­ing the mess for her. Drive her to her des­ti­na­tion so she can re­lax. Chore-play will pay off when she has more en­ergy and de­sire at the end of the night!

Se­duce her

This man knows how to se­duce a woman with his nat­u­ral good looks and what he wears, in­clud­ing a grey tie that’s also used in sex­ual play. The good news is you don’t have to break out the credit card to reap sim­i­lar re­sults. Just make an ef­fort to look your best and keep your part­ner’s in­ter­est, whether it’s by hit­ting the gym a cou­ple times a week or by pay­ing a lit­tle ex­tra at­ten­tion to your ap­pear­ance on date night. I per­son­ally love a man in a crisp white shirt who smells great.

Care about her in­ter­ests

He finds out what English ma­jor Ana is study­ing in school and sends her a first-edi­tion book by one of her favourite au­thors. You don’t have to be so ex­trav­a­gant, but it pays to ask your part­ner what book she is read­ing or what mu­sic or movies she loves. It’s a chance to get to know her more and dis­cover what ex­cites her. How about mak­ing a good old-fash­ioned mixed tape?

Be silly and have fun to­gether

Have inside jokes and fun, flir­ta­tious say­ings that bring smiles through­out the day. Blend hu­mour and play­ful­ness into your re­la­tion­ship to help strengthen your bond and heighten your de­sire.

Keep her de­sire revved through­out the day

Grey al­ways makes sure that Ana has sex on the brain, whether it’s by send­ing her naughty e-mails or se­cretly ca­ress­ing her when they are out on the town. Do the same.

Don’t for­get the chase

Women like to be wooed, so make an ef­fort to keep the chase alive, even af­ter you have been to­gether for years. Send her flow­ers and com­pli­ment her sexy lit­tle black dress. It will help re­mind her that you are more than just room-mates, you are also lovers. Never send flow­ers as an apol­ogy; it spoils flow­ers for­ever!

Stay com­mit­ted to your sex­ual con­nec­tion

Great sex doesn’t just hap­pen overnight. It takes com­mit­ment, creativ­ity, and open­ness, and it also takes a will­ing­ness to break out of your com­fort zone. You don’t have to ex­per­i­ment with BDSM, how­ever, you can start talk­ing about your de­sires and make a com­mit­ment to hav­ing reg­u­lar sex – even if you have to sched­ule it. Make your sex life and your re­la­tion­ship a pri­or­ity. A great way to start is to com­mit to buy­ing a toy and us­ing it.

You’ll be sur­prised at how sexy it can be.

For any queries, e-mail sharon@lo­la­m­on­tez.co.za

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