Sex bot FAQs

When you tell people you are doing a story on sex bots, their curiosity tends to rapidly engorge as all manner of questions flood their brains:

How do you clean them?

Generally all you need is a pair of gloves, dishwashing liquid and baby powder. The gloves are not compulsory but you’ll want them. The folks at Real Doll are hoping that future-generation dolls will have detachable bits that you can lob into the dishwasher.

Can you rent one?

Not in South Africa yet, but if you find yourself in Dublin, unable to find a comely Irish lass, then for à100 (R1 600) you can get an hour’s worth of rubber necking. Lumidolls in Barcelona is the world’s only sex-doll brothel.

Are there male sex dolls?

Yes, but you’re unlikely to enjoy them. Like female sex dolls, they are still rather limited where movement is concerned. For now you’re better off with one of those Bluetooth dildos that has 3 012 different settings and can be operated underwater, than with a 60kg rubber mould that just lies there staring lustily at your roof.

How are they delivered?

In a box far too large to be inconspicuous. It may not necessarily have the words “GIANT SEX TOY” on the side, but people will notice. Maybe you can pretend it’s a fridge.

Where can I find them?

There are a number of companies selling them if you are keen on shelling out upwards of R16 000. Luvland is the only local supplier at the moment but I’m sure DHL could bring you one from across the pond if you asked nicely.

How long do they last?

With the right care, a lifetime — or however long it takes for your religious mother to find yours and condemn it to the fiery pits of the church incinerator in an attempt to save your soul.

Yolisa Mkele