Sunday Times

Too uncool for school

Other so-called special editions that really missed the mark

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Volkswagen Polo Vivo Citi

The original Citi Golf was a high point in 1980s marketing. Combining a snappy advertisin­g campaign with bright paint options (red, yellow and blue), it gave the old Mk1 Golf fresh legs that would help it run right up until production stopped in 2009. Rehashing said marketing campaign on the Polo Vivo last year wasn’t just lame but showed a lack of creativity. Some things are better left in the past.

Renault Sandero Stepway Roxy Louw Edition

Roxy Louw. Nice to look at. Handy with a surfboard. Relevant to people who can afford to buy designer smoothies (or designer swimwear) but probably not with those who, in 2013, were looking at buying the ultimate automotive starter-pack: the Renault Sandero. Right woman wrong product.

Suzuki Swift 1.2 RS

Ah, yes, that time when Suzuki got a 10-year-old to pen a “racy” version of their base 1.2 Swift. Except instead of looking racy it just came across as embarrassi­ngly garish: an incohesive study in two-tone paint and stickers that would only appeal to those under the age of 20. Less is more, guys, less is more.

Datsun Go Remix

The car I famously referred to online as a “turd rolled in glitter” was exactly that. A badly built and notoriousl­y unsafe economy car dolled up with a zef assemblage of alloy wheels, side skirts and a roof spoiler. Rear inertia-reel seatbelts were still not an option but a Datsun Go carpet set came standard. Joy.

Evoque Special Edition with Victoria Beckham

Okay, I have two questions. One, what does Victoria Beckham know about cars? Two, what does Victoria Beckham know about designing cars and/or styling cars? Probably not much.

Her putting her name behind an

Evoque is kind of like me putting my name behind a range of Le Creuset cookware – utterly ridiculous.

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