HOGARTH
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Vanity, vanity, all is vanity publishing
Zwakele Mncwango, the DA’s token of choice in the Kingdom of the Zulus, fancies himself a man of letters. Mncwango was in high spirits on Facebook, telling his friends and seemingly his detractors that he’ll soon be a published author.
“When those close to you don’t recognise your value, never stress because someone out there might recognise you. My thesis will soon be published by European Lambert Academic Publishing. Yes I’m from Nongoma, the place you make jokes about,” he wrote.
It turns out Lambert Academic Publishing is a scam based in Mauritius and Eastern Europe; it cons would-be authors.
It’s the likes of Mncwango who make Nongoma a joke.
Unedited and unedifying
Asimple web search of “Lambert Academic Publishing” would have shown our boy from Nongoma that this is nothing but a cheap gimmick. Here’s how one sharp observer describes the “publisher”: “It scams scholars who have published theses, offering to republish them as books. The naive and gullible agree, and after zero editing or reviewing, LAP creates a front cover using stock art, and places the ‘book’ online (on their own site, sister sites and on Amazon) for sale at high prices with no indication this work is an unedited thesis. The author never sees a penny of those sales. The scholars are drawn in by the promise of royalties but these are a mirage.”
The joke is on you, Zwakele.
A senseless waste
Juju, the leader of the Red Beret Brigade, is not known for making sense — and he admits as much about his army in red overalls. Addressing a Women’s Day gathering in Pietermaritzburg, Juju said women weren’t attracted to the EFF for this very reason.
“The majority of EFF voters are men, and we can’t be proud of that. It means there is something wrong with what we are doing. Women are attracted to things that make sense. So it means we are not making sense — because the majority of EFF voters are men,” he said.
Yes, Commander, women make sense. They are put off by fake armies and women MPs wearing domestic-worker uniforms to parliament. They are attracted by things that make sense, like logical policies and good manners.
Let one thousand flowers bloom
The ANC’s choral society, also known as the ANC Women’s League, seems to have been kick-started back to life after its battery went flat when its presidential candidate lost at Nasrec and Bathabile Dlamini was shifted away from playing marbles with Sassa grants.
As usual, the league is sticking to its core purpose of defending its leaders. It issued a statement railing at a radio host who mentioned during an interview that Dlamini had once claimed that women are “emotional”.
But after expressing disgust, the league said it welcomes criticism. Then, quoting that great feminist icon Mao Zedong, it declared: “As correctly said by Chairman Mao: ‘If we have shortcomings, we are not afraid to have them pointed out and criticised, because we serve the people. Anyone, no matter who, may point out our shortcomings. If he is right, we will correct them. If what he proposes will benefit the people, we will act upon it.’”
Hogarth wonders if Chairman Mao also inspired Sis’ Batha’s famous quote about smallanyana skeletons.
Not on the menu any more
Sanity finally prevailed when woman-basher Mduduzi Manana pulled out of a gala dinner against woman abuse.
Shame on the Shevolution organisers who initially defended the Manana invitation. The fight against genderbased violence is not an opportunity for women-bashers to klap their reputations back into shape. That will take more than a carefully scripted event meant to give Manana a platform to give “his side of the story”.
In the meantime, Manana must listen more, talk less and keep his hands to himself.