To our sporting heroes: Out with the old and in with the new

● It’s been another momentous sporting year. Here is Sunday Times Sport’s new year’s wish list for those at the extremes of the sporting spectrum.

José Mourinho

— less hubris, more humility. The Special One became the Unemployed One just as Santa started stuffing his bag. It is the worst time to consider your employment options but this introspection may yet do him good.

Thokozile Xasa

— a portfolio.

It is one thing not wanting to be like your megalomaniac predecessor, but quite another behaving like the Loch Ness monster when you’re the sports minister.

Eliud Kipchoge

— a hill.

The Kenyan took 78 seconds off the world marathon record, now at 2 hours, one minute and 39 seconds. A remarkable feat, but in Berlin on a course as flat as old beer.

Orlando Pirates

— a certificate from a finishing school.

The Buccaneers could not conquer Zoo Lake let alone the Caribbean given their form in shootouts. They go all spaghetti western, spraying it all over, often succeeding in just shooting themselves in the foot. And this despite the fact that they have a finishing coach, nogal.

The IAAF

— a set of teeth.

Athletics’ world governing body has been under fire for their limp-wristed stand on continued doping allegations. When are they going to get tough?

Francesco Molinari and Tommy Fleetwood

— a room.

We really don’t need to explain this one.

Tiger Woods

— to stay in contention. Woods almost broke his major drought at the US PGA earlier this year. The 14-time major winner may be the wrong side of 40 but his remaining competitive in the big events is clearly still good for the sport.

Gloucester Rugby

— their own nursery. Johan Ackermann’s penchant for poaching players he used to coach at the Lions is starting to irk the suits at Ellis Park. We can understand him signing up his son but must he really turn his side into the Rooibokke?

Ashwin Willemse

— a talk show. Wouldn’t it be great to have a host who at any minute will red card his guests; or worse, will drop the mic and exit left?

Proteas

— time in the presence of the World

Cup.

The less said about SA’s record at ICC events the better. We hope the Proteas get a proper view of the elusive trophy in England, and not just at pre-tournament pictures.

Jurie Roux

— a day in court. SA Rugby’s media-shy CEO will apparently finally have the opportunity to answer questions relating to Stellenbosch University’s R35m lawsuit against him. When allegations surfaced SA Rugby actually extended his contract.

Serena Williams

— a little less petulance. The 23-time grand slam singles title winner and mother has the habit of spitting out the dummy when things go against her on court. Had she kept her eye on the ball against Naomi Osaka in the US Open final she might now be the grand slam singles title record holder on her own.

World Rugby referees

— moments of clarity. Refereeing standards have been declining like credit cards in early January. The year 2018 has probably been the worst. Match officials don’t inspire confidence and the sooner World Rugby addresses it the better.

Team Sky

— a return to reality.

The much-decorated professional cycling outfit has had to put out various fires around the manner in which they have gone about producing winners. Main sponsor Sky is pulling out next year but they may well get a shot in the arm from somewhere else.

Bad rugby officiating

World Rugby and Sanzaar, your match officials aren’t rhinos, meaning they are not a protected species. Please make them more accountable and discipline them appropriately when they decide to have offdays that could decide the outcome of matches and people’s careers. Leave the substandard and inconsistent officiating behind in 2018.

Poor security at Category A PSL games:

Rhulani Mokwena might have run his mouth off before the Soweto derby and found himself in the cross-hairs of Sundowns fans after Bongani Zungu’s ill-advised tweet. However, he has to be safe in the technical area during a match and what we witnessed at Loftus Versfeld on November 10 can’t be repeated. The same applies to the hooliganism after the Free State Stars/Kaizer Chiefs Nedbank Cup semifinal at Moses Mabhida Stadium on April 18.

Pathetic Bafana Bafana results:

This one’s pretty straightforward. Stuart Baxter must vacate the hot seat if he can’t stand the heat of the international coaching kitchen. A team of Bafana Bafana’s talent and aptitude can’t be drawing against halfbaked teams like the Seychelles. They qualify for the African Cup of Nations, wherever it’s going to be held. If they exit early, Baxter must leave and hope the door doesn’t hit him on the way out.

No more Kaizer Chiefs losses to Orlando Pirates:

Once is fine, twice is a mistake but three times is an abomination. Yes, that’s Kaizer Chiefs’ three losses to Orlando Pirates in the calendar year. It’s unacceptable and the Soweto derby needs to be competitive, especially for the Amakhosi faithful, who now cheer for any and every team that beats Pirates because, frankly, their team can’t.

No more Proteas choking:

Proteas or Choketeas. Ottis Gibson’s side knows it is up to them to remove the tag. Even though they haven’t choked since Mirpur in 2011, choking is associated with them. The year 2019 is what they need to unceremoniously shed the sad misnomer.