Don’t leave the non-drinkers dry


I WENT out on a week night and par­tied with the cool kids of Ethek­wini this week, some­thing I haven’t done in a while. My body is still pun­ish­ing me for what I did to it.

At the party I re­ceived my first Christ­mas party in­vi­ta­tion. I de­cided not to go. It’s hap­pen­ing next week and we are ex­pected to dress up and wear elf hats.

I de­cided I’m not go­ing to the party be­cause it’s in Novem­ber. I don’t un­der­stand why peo­ple think it’s cool to have Christ­mas events in Novem­ber. What are we sup­posed to do in De­cem­ber?

It’s ac­tu­ally one of those “sum­mer is here” events. I’m con­fused by the north­ern hemi­sphere Christ­mas theme.

There’s an art to throw­ing par­ties. Since I’ve been to some amaz­ing and also dodgy ones, here are my pet peeves about some of the things or­gan­is­ers do:

Peo­ple who don’t drink get a raw deal.

One rea­son I don’t go out much is that there aren’t many op­tions for those who don’t drink al­co­hol. Half the time I end up drink­ing wa­ter or a soda.

I hate so­das, but that's al­most al­ways the only thing avail­able. I once asked for a vir­gin cock­tail and the bar­tender told me he’s us­ing the cran­berry juice for vodka cock­tails. He was un­apolo­getic about it too.

The only other juice avail­able was orange. I set­tled for wa­ter. If you re­ally want to make sure all your guests have fun, en­sure those who don't im­bibe are also catered for. There are great vir­gin cock­tail recipes avail­able and the winer­ies are get­ting bet­ter at mak­ing al­co­hol-free sparkling wine.

Canapés are not food.

I once went to an event where the only thing we had were these morsels. It was a long evening. I couldn't leave be­cause I was a friend's plus one and they needed to stay as long as pos­si­ble.

The minute we left, we drove to a Mcdon­ald’s.

You know a party was a bust when guests have to go to a take­out joint af­ter mid­night to get some food.

I get that peo­ple some­times want to make the drinks flow, rather than the food, but cash bars ex­ist for a rea­son. Don’t make your guests dress up just to starve. That’s not cool.

Small talk is ridicu­lous.

I do not want to talk about the weather, what Trevor Noah said on the Daily Show and why the rand is strug­gling.

I once went to a party where my phone was stuck to my hand, with my Twit­ter ac­count en­joy­ing in­creas­ing us­age. The peo­ple at the table kept on talk­ing about the most banal things. It was not as if we didn’t know each other, which made it worse.

Let’s rather talk about dope places to go on first dates, when is the per­fect time to ar­rive at the Shong­weni Farm­ers’ Mar­ket, why Shonda Rhimes is mak­ing Olivia Pope a power-hun­gry al­co­holic on The Fixer and your thoughts on the third and fi­nal book in the Crazy Rich Asians se­ries.

Wed­nes­day saw chef and TV per­son­al­ity Pete Gof­fe­wood join East Coast Break­fast’s Dawn Than­deka King and

Kyle Deutsch as fi­nal­ists for the fi­nal show­down. This com­ing Wed­nes­day is the turn of ma­gi­cian Mo Magic and come­di­enne and TV di­rec­tor Kri­jay Goven­der to show us who has the range in the kitchen at Adega.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from South Africa

© PressReader. All rights reserved.