I FEEL I SHOULD DIE - UYANDA
God I need help
SOCIAL butterfly Uyanda Mbuli has been flashing a smile that leaves men swooning at red-carpet events, but the alluring smile masks a sad and troubled woman.
Uyanda thought death was the only way she could escape her demons.
This is contained in a copy of her diary, which forms part of submissions made in her long-standing protection order application battle against her estranged hubby Sisa Mbuli, which was finalised at the Midrand Magistrates Court on
Sometimes I feel like I should “just die,” she wrote. I have been running away “from my problems all my life but now I can t run away any more.
’ I found someone who “truly loves me who can take all the sh**t that I come with. But now I will lose “him. I am driving him away. I need help. Oh God I need “help … The only thing I ve “’ ever managed to do in my life is drive people away, she wrote.
Uyanda also confessed to neglecting her matrimonial duties and that she felt she is as useless as they come. What am I good for? Nothing. Sisa stays “with me yet I can t even keep the house clean
’ to show that there is a woman in the house. I carry my big head as if I m some queen “’ of same (sic). I pretend I can live on my own “yet I can (sic) bear the thought of being alone for 2 min without him. Oh God, I love him so but I need help.”
… And she thought death would be the only escape.
Sometimes I feel like I “should just die. Sisa might think he has a problem but he doesn t.
’ I m the one “’ with a problem. I am the problem.”
Sunday World has learnt she wrote this about six years ago.
malatjin @sundayworld.co. za
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