Don’t give up, dar­ling

Sunday World - - Shwashwi -

DEAR Akhumzi Jezile

Rel­e­vance and longevity are tough to come by here in Egoli­wood trust me, I know.

And since act­ing in a for­get­table drama has not got you much at­ten­tion, Shwa can imagine how hun­gry you were for the Feather Awards’ So­cial But­ter­fly win.

How­ever, do­ing a Kanye lite on Bujy when he trumped you to it was not only des­per­ate but ex­tremely awk­ward for you.

See, dar­ling, when you’re gonna pull a Yeezus stunt, you’d bet­ter have the vo­cab to back it up. Wait, Imma let you fin­ish… You in­stead stood there like a


The Link pre­sen­ter Lerato Kgyanyago donned a RuPaul-in­spired mane matched with what looked like a see-through gown and undies. All that ex­posed booty and boobs was more Lol­lipop Lounge than red car­pet sexy, but hey a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do when faced with stiff drag queen com­pe­ti­tion.

Girl-about-town Pearl Thusi un­veiled her new braids when she col­lected her Fag Hag Award. You’re to­tally chan­nel­ing Solange Knowles and look­ing fab­u­lara do­ing it, doll!

Ladies who kept it classy with their pup­pies were up­com­ing singer Nizreen and ac­tress Za­keeya Pa­tel. The two were the belles with their cute buns to fin­ish off the toned-down looks.

Shwa spot­ted Role Model nom­i­nee Zoleka Man­dela rock­ing what ap­pears to be a baby bump in a wed­ding dress-in­spired ball­gown. It was a bit of a mis­sion try­ing not to step on her train as she waltzed in front in the arms of her man. Maybe she had the wed­ding march play­ing in her head.

Oh, but can we take a mo­ment to ob­serve Gaut­eng s cheeky premier Nomvula Mokonyane? Mama Ac­tion took home the Diva of the Year Award mute giv­ing Bujy a sad imi­ta­tion of a glare.

And, be­ing in a Doc­tor Malinga or­ange suit didn’t up your game ei­ther.

You just looked like you’re miss­ing a hag on your arm in­stead of an award in your hand.

Shwa ad­vises that you sit at home, med­i­tate on this and maybe come back stronger for the award next year. Fail­ing that, just de­but a hot un­der­wear model (hey, there’s Lunga Tsha­bal­ala!) and de­clare him your lover. Now, Shwa isn’t sug­gest­ing in any­way that you or Lunga bat for that team, but that at least ought to get you the col­umn inches and an in­ter­view on Vuzu. Thank me later! XOXO, Sh­washwi

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