Pas­tor the butt of jokes

Sunday World - - Shawshwi - Isibaya Ter­mi­na­tor Ter­mi­na­tor Genisys.

WHAT S wrong with Win­nie Madik­ize­laMan­dela? Pulling an SPCA stunt on the Man­dela fam­ily, come on now. Shwa has heard many ridicu­lous ex­cuses used by peo­ple to stake a claim on prop­erty, but starv­ing cat­tle” takes the cake. Peo­ple are still starv­ing in So­ma­lia and Ethiopia, but I don’t see any­one want­ing to take over those coun­tries.

The new Baby Soft TV ad­vert for wet wipes is in bad taste and al­most had Shwa gag­ging on her din­ner last night. The cam­era keeps zoom­ing in on a woman s sub­stan­tial but­tocks. She takes a wet wipe and swipes a por­tion of a draw­ing of a bum on a mir­ror and says Love your bum” while glanc­ing at hers. We are talk­ing about wip­ing the brown stuff here. How crass!

Shwa thinks Siyabonga Th­wala of is get­ting a big head. The hunk, who plays a zom­bie mgi­ji­mani, turned down an in­ter­view re­quest by this pa­per be­cause he had a mis­un­der­stand­ing with one of our for­mer jour­nal­ists. If you are in show­biz, the me­dia is your friend.

Not another movie! Shwa thinks Arnold Sch­warzeneg­ger is too old for ac­tion movies, but he has just fin­ished shoot­ing

Shwa thinks the film­mak­ers wanted to spell Ge­n­e­sis” and no­body could find a dic­tionary.

US tabloid magazine In Touch has dropped a bomb­shell about Kim and Kanye s mar­riage be­ing fake. It says they sleep apart and at­tend ar­ranged pub­lic ap­pear­ances. Shwa says that if it works, why not? The world is full of mar­riages of con­ve­nience.

Talk­ing about Kim K, our own Pal­lance Dladla’s close friend is a to­tal looka­like.

Mzansi ex­pe­ri­enced a tremor this week. Moi would just like to say thanks that the govern­ment wasn’t blamed for this one. Thuli Madon­sela can re­lax.

Now, Shwa loves her charis­matic churches, be­cause the things that go on there beat any soapie. A news­pa­per in Ghana re­ports that a fe­male bishop squeezed a pas­tor’s pri­vates dur­ing a ser­mon. Ap­par­ently the pas­tor had called on mem­bers of the con­gre­ga­tion to come touch him to re­ceive heal­ing. The brave lady said her hubby’s mshini didn’t work and she be­lieved that touch­ing the pas­tor s man­hood would help.

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