Nene chokes on curry as panty­hose saves my heart

A week in pol­i­tics and in mat­ters of fetishes is long time

Sunday World - - Viewpoint - Vusi Nza­pheza

No­body saw it com­ing. I was un­der the knife when fi­nance min­is­ter Nh­lanhla Nene packed and left.

The strings hold­ing my achy breaky heart to­gether were start­ing to make my chest too tight.

The doc­tors cut my chest open and re­placed the ca­ble ties hold­ing my aorta to­gether with panty­hose.

The hosiery may be pro­duced to adorn the fe­male der­riere, thighs and legs but many of you will re­mem­ber many other uses such as ty­ing hair locks when braided. Panty­hose also proved ef­fec­tive to shine my shoes back in my school days. So yes, I am proud that this in­ti­mate piece of the fe­male ac­ces­sory now re­sides close to my heart, lit­er­ally.

The surgery went ex­ceed­ingly well, more so since the pa­tient sur­vived. I was ter­ri­bly ap­pre­hen­sive ahead of the op­er­a­tion. The first time I went un­der the scalpel, I was mer­ci­fully un­con­scious long be­fore they wheeled me in, but this time I checked my­self in.

I’ve read about pa­tients catch­ing pneu­mo­nia and croak­ing af­ter suc­cess­ful surgery or some­times hav­ing the wrong limb am­pu­tated by mis­take. I showed up in hospi­tal wear­ing a chastity belt just in case an ex­u­ber­ant sur­geon cuts the wrong limb while I’m ly­ing there help­lessly.

The only side ef­fect from my surgery has been a strong at­trac­tion to panty­hose. It man­i­fested be­fore I left the hospi­tal when a panty­hosewear­ing nurse showed up in my ward. Weak as I still was, I lunged at her like a dog in heat be­fore I was re­strained.

The doc­tors ad­vised me to stay in­doors un­til my panty­hose fetish sub­sides.

Any­way, back to Nene and com­pany. No­body saw his fall com­ing, just like 10 years ago when he fell off his chair dur­ing a tele­vised broad­cast.

Most of the beans be­ing spilled at jus­tice Zondo’s state cap­ture com­mis­sion have been spilled be­fore. The me­dia had long ex­posed the shenani­gans be­hind state cap­ture. As a re­sult, we know who did what and where the bod­ies are buried.

The nar­ra­tive framed Nene as one of the good guys and his tes­ti­mony be­fore Zondo would shed light on how he re­sisted the pres­sure from the bad guys to do the wrong things.

Nene rose to the oc­ca­sion and ex­posed the shenani­gans of his col­leagues and for­mer boss but he went fur­ther. He ad­mit­ted to vis­it­ing the Sax­on­wold she­been and be­ing served dol­lops of curry by the Gup­tas.

It took that one sen­tence for the dark cloud to gather around Nene’s head. It was like the man whose fir­ing in 2015 by Ja­cob Zuma had spooked the rand had dis­closed that he had danced with Lu­cifer.

His down­fall did not fol­low the script. Af­ter all, we know of his col­leagues who danced to the Sax­on­wold tune and still serve in cabi­net. Calls for them to fall on their swords have fallen on deaf ears.

The Buf­falo grabbed

Nene’s un­usual re­quest to leave with open horns.

The Zondo com­mis­sion has claimed its first ca­su­alty and we are bay­ing for more blood. How­ever, I doubt if we are go­ing to see an­other min­is­ter fall any time soon.

The rogues im­pli­cated in state cap­ture do not have one bone of re­morse in their anatomy.

He ex­posed shenani­gans of col­leagues and his vis­its to Sax­on­wold

/ Siphiwe Sibeko/ Reuters

For­mer fi­nance min­is­ter Nh­lanhla Nene fell on his sword af­ter re­veal­ing he was en­ter­tained by the Gup­tas at their Sax­on­wold com­pound in Joburg.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from South Africa

© PressReader. All rights reserved.