This ship has sprung a leak
TIRED: FIFTH PIRATES INSTALMENT FAILS TO TRULY DAZZLE It’s simply too cartoonish.
The fifth instalment of the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise has been directed by two people. This doesn’t mean two heads are better than one because this fantasy escapade steers way off course and is a pretty drab affair most of the time.
The franchise is tired and Johnny Depp’s Captain Sparrow is no longer the funny original but a poor cartoon character stumbling from one set-piece to another, mumbling his words and trying to stay sober.
Directed by Joachim Ronning and Espen Sandberg, this is uninspiring entertainment, relying on a paper-thin story line and a series of repetitive action set-pieces to keep it afloat. New characters have been introduced but this move hardly improves the standard.
It’s been 14 years since the popular Disney theme park ride got transformed into a four-billion dollar screen enterprise and a platform for sparkling ingenuity. But it has now lost its spark and become an unappealing visual exercise.
The plot involves a group of deadly ghost sailors, led by the terrifying Captain Salazar (Javier Bardem), who escape from the Devil’s Triangle and are bent on killing every pirate at sea – notably Jack.
Jack’s only hope of survival lies in finding something called the Trident of Poseidon, which will release the curse under which these unfortunate cut-throat sailors have been placed.
Helping in his quest, Jack forges an uneasy alliance with Carina Smyth (Kaya Scodelario), a brilliant and feisty astronomer accused of witchcraft, and Henry (Brenton Thwaites), a headstrong young sailor in the Royal Navy whose “dead” father Will (Orlando Bloom) is also under a curse.
Resurrecting the Dying Gull, his pitifully small and shabby ship, Captain Jack Sparrow seeks not only to reverse his recent spate of ill fortune, but to save his very life from the most formidable and malicious foe he has ever faced.
Johnny Depp, playing both the protagonist and comic relief, doesn’t quite hit the mark and his character’s drunken, dissolute demeanour is now wearing painfully thin.
Vintage punch lines have been rehashed, serving more as moments of recognition rather than being acutely funny.
Throughout the narrative Jack is being pursued, caught, imprisoned, and almost executed by dour British soldiers, who never seem to learn their lessons.
The producers have brought on board Javier Bardem as the infamous Spanish sea captain Salazar, with a face resembling parched desert soil. He heads a crew of ghostly apparitions, many of whom you can see right through. Together they sail the high seas, looking for trouble. Bardem does little to enhance his acting reputation here and could have phoned in his performance.
Fresh young faces Brenton
Thwaites and Kaya Scodelario serve as Jack’s energetic sidekicks, much in the vein of Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley, who were the first trilogies’ incumbents. The film gives these two newcomers precious little with which to work.
Also back for a bit of a blast is Geoffrey Rush as Captain Barbossa, Capt Sparrow’s blustery one-legged nemesis.
Luminous Iranian actress Golshifteh Farahani hams it up as a heavily henna’ed witch, while it’s interesting to note that Paul McCartney enjoys himself in a bit part as a pirate named Uncle Jack.
The Pirates of the Caribbean franchise is fast taking on water and I’d hate to see a clever concept eventually sink without trace.