We’ve gone astray, in marriage too
INEED someone to explain to me why we, as black people, have a white wedding followed by a traditional wedding.
Let’s get something clear: a white wedding is a traditional wedding for white people. Yes, it’s funny that for example, a Zulu man and Pedi woman, would choose to celebrate their union the English way, a tradition that’s not theirs. This is non-negotiable.
It’s ironic and shocking that we put other traditions above our own.
We then wonder why many of us go into our marriages broke – and indebted. It’s costly; we forget that they do not pay lobola.
What is so important to us black people that we overlook other cultures and traditions but make the English tradition exceptional?
It’s as if a couple aren’t seen as being married until the wife is in a white gown.
You would be accused of defying your own culture if you are a Tsonga-Pedi man like myself and you choose to wed in the Venda tradition.
It would be labelled taboo. Yet practising and following the white tradition is okay. What is wrong with us? We are really lost. The next time we discuss marriage, can we not speak about a white wedding and a traditional wedding celebration as if they weren’t the same thing?
Let us stop doing the same thing twice. We either take the white tradition or any other we fancy and do only that. Please, choose one.