We’ve gone astray, in mar­riage too

The Star Early Edition - - OPINION & ANALYSIS -

INEED some­one to ex­plain to me why we, as black peo­ple, have a white wed­ding fol­lowed by a tra­di­tional wed­ding.

Let’s get some­thing clear: a white wed­ding is a tra­di­tional wed­ding for white peo­ple. Yes, it’s funny that for ex­am­ple, a Zulu man and Pedi woman, would choose to cel­e­brate their union the English way, a tra­di­tion that’s not theirs. This is non-ne­go­tiable.

It’s ironic and shock­ing that we put other tra­di­tions above our own.

We then won­der why many of us go into our mar­riages broke – and in­debted. It’s costly; we for­get that they do not pay lobola.

What is so im­por­tant to us black peo­ple that we over­look other cul­tures and tra­di­tions but make the English tra­di­tion ex­cep­tional?

It’s as if a cou­ple aren’t seen as be­ing mar­ried un­til the wife is in a white gown.

You would be ac­cused of de­fy­ing your own cul­ture if you are a Tsonga-Pedi man like my­self and you choose to wed in the Venda tra­di­tion.

It would be la­belled taboo. Yet prac­tis­ing and fol­low­ing the white tra­di­tion is okay. What is wrong with us? We are re­ally lost. The next time we dis­cuss mar­riage, can we not speak about a white wed­ding and a tra­di­tional wed­ding cel­e­bra­tion as if they weren’t the same thing?

Let us stop do­ing the same thing twice. We ei­ther take the white tra­di­tion or any other we fancy and do only that. Please, choose one.


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