Save SAA with your mag­netism

The Sunday Independent - - DISPATCHES -

PRESIDENT Ja­cob Zuma has fi­nally come of age – old age, that is. Last Sun­day was the first time I re­call him talk­ing se­ri­ously about the R-word.

No, not Ramaphosa. I’m talk­ing about re­tire­ment. You know, when you are put out to pas­ture and just drift off into the sun­set. The president was in Dur­ban with his ANC top six, en­grossed in dis­cus­sions about the frac­tured KZN lead­er­ship, fac­tion­al­ism, po­lit­i­cal vi­o­lence and the crit­i­cal need for party unity when he halted de­lib­er­a­tions and in­formed his col­leagues he needed some time out.

He po­litely ex­cused him­self and headed off to the Essence Fes­ti­val at the ICC for a wel­come break.

It be­ing Oc­to­ber 1 and, as it turns out, In­ter­na­tional Day for Older Per­sons, it was per­haps serendip­ity that turned the con­ver­sa­tion at the fes­ti­val to re­tire­ment.

The president ap­peared ex­cited at the prospect of bow­ing out and told peo­ple he could not wait for mid-2019 when he would of­fi­cially re­tire.

So, what does No 1 plan to do once he steps out of the Union Build­ings? Well, it seems he has two pri­or­i­ties. One is to travel around the coun­try lis­ten­ing to his favourite maskandi group Izin­gane Zoma. He showed his ap­pre­ci­a­tion for maskandi by pre­sent­ing the mu­si­cians with a new R370 000 minibus as a gift.

And he used the plat­form on Sun­day to show off about his health which, he said, “makes me still able to win fine-look­ing women”.

“Don’t even doubt me be­cause when­ever I ap­proach a woman, she would never say no to me,” he bragged.

The right time to re­tire, they say, is when you dread go­ing to work.

Judg­ing by the president’s de­meanour in Par­lia­ment re­cently, he’s not hav­ing a whole lot of fun.

If there’s any truth to his claim of spell-bind­ing power over women, here’s his chance to do the coun­try a big favour before the big blast-off. When he de­cides to step away from of­fice, he should take his col­leagues Dudu Myeni, Faith Muthambi and Batha­bile Dlamini with him.

He might not re­alise it, but by do­ing so he’ll be sav­ing our na­tional airline from cer­tain bank­ruptcy, put­ting a stop to the prof­li­gate waste of tax­pay­ers’ money and giv­ing peace of mind to 6mil­lion pensioners des­per­ately wor­ried about the future of their state grants. Be pres­i­den­tial for once – just do it!

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