Mind Power – Life tools

Are you STUCK in a rut? WORK­ING with a LIFE COACH will give YOU the MIND TOOLS needed to CHANGE GEARS.

True Love - - Content - By SISONKE LABASE

The era of the self-help book is mak­ing way for the new kid in mo­ti­va­tion town: the life coach. Suc­cess seek­ers agree these could pro­vide the tools to get to the top, and there’s va­lid­ity in their ar­gu­ments. But why does any­one need life coach­ing?

“If you want to change your life and need the guid­ance to do so, then life coach­ing is the way to go. Coaches are more fo­cused on your goals – where you want to be and help you get there,” ex­plains Dr Na­dine Dunn. An­other life coach Tumi Moloto of TM Change Con­sult­ing adds that a life coach will, “Un­earth your tal­ent, un­der­stand your strengths and show you how to lever­age on them to achieve your goals.”

You might ask how the likes of Oprah Win­frey, Bill Clin­ton and other prom­i­nent peo­ple stay on track and in con­trol of their per­sonal lives, am­bi­tions and dreams. The se­cret they all share is Tony Rob­bins, a well known life coach who says that peo­ple come to him when they’re in a slump and need to turn things around. For ex­am­ple, ten­nis star Ser­ena Wil­liams calls him to align her drive with what she wants to ac­com­plish, help­ing her to break through and con­quer what’s trip­ping her up.

“I help peo­ple find a way to break through from where they are to where they want to be,” said Rob­bins in one in­ter­view, adding that: “I’ve learned very quickly how to get

in­side some­body’s brain, fig­ure out what lim­its them, break through and move them on so they’re able to max­imise their power and per­for­mance.”

An ex­cerpt from a masters’ the­sis pub­lished at Pep­per­dine Univer­sity in Cal­i­for­nia shows that those who re­ceived coach­ing in­creased their life sat­is­fac­tion and im­proved their per­sonal growth. Those who didn’t re­ceive any coach­ing, did not im­prove their life sat­is­fac­tion or their per­sonal growth ini­tia­tive over that time.

TRUE LOVE reader Bulelwa, 37 can at­test to mak­ing a break­through af­ter work­ing with a coach. “I found my­self stuck in a rut with ev­ery­thing – from work to per­sonal life. I wasn’t happy and needed to move on or change some­thing, but I didn’t know what or how un­til I found a couch.” Two years later, Bulelwa’s moved abroad and is happy. “I’m do­ing what I love – sell­ing vin­tage fur­ni­ture – and I have the most beau­ti­ful man. He’s go­ing to travel to SA soon for my lobola ne­go­ti­a­tions.”

Ex­ec­u­tive coach at Bridge Con­sult­ing, Robert Craig af­firms that coach­ing cre­ates a gear change: “It cre­ates a con­ver­sa­tion that you wouldn’t or­di­nar­ily have with your­self. It helps to build your own path to get some­where bet­ter in life.”

DO YOU NEED TO CHANGE GEARS?

In his book Self-Mo­ti­va­tion Diary of A Born Op­ti­mist, em­pow­er­ment coach Ja­mal Lanre Shashore first asks: “Have you ever won­dered why all at­tempts to achieve cer­tain goals in your life end up in frus­tra­tion? Maybe you’re keen to change your per­sonal cir­cum­stances but don’t know where to be­gin?”

Shashore en­cour­ages us to chal­lenge the neg­a­tive thoughts stand­ing be­tween us and what we want to ac­com­plish. He be­lieves that our thoughts and emo­tions can have an ef­fect on how we per­ceive our­selves. “Ul­ti­mately, whatever we think about our­selves (and es­pe­cially the neg­a­tive) be­come what we be­lieve to be true, and these im­pact in­ner strength, re­sources, and ca­pac­i­ties for prob­lem solv­ing in dif­fi­cult sit­u­a­tions. Fo­cussing on our short­com­ings be­comes sec­ond na­ture, and hold us back from achiev­ing suc­cess.”

Moloto adds that hav­ing a life coach is like hold­ing up a mir­ror – your coach can help you see who you re­ally are and as­sist in mak­ing your dreams a re­al­ity.

“Coach­ing helps to get your vi­sion and who you are in the core so that you can chan­nel who you are as a per­son, what you want, your strengths and turn it into suc­cess. You need to be in con­trol of your des­tiny, but ex­ter­nal cir­cum­stances of­ten hold us back from achiev­ing those.”

FIND YOUR COACH

Your life coach ul­ti­mately holds the keys to your next open door, so find­ing some­one you’re com­pat­i­ble with and who you trust is key. Coach and owner of Shift Me Coach­ing, Lin­delwa Khoza, says that just like any other part­ner­ship in life, find­ing a coach should be about chem­istry.

“Be pre­pared to de­sign the part­ner­ship with the coach. Think of a strong part­ner­ship that you cur­rently have in your work or life. Look at how you built that re­la­tion­ship and what is im­por­tant to you about it. You will want to build those same things into a coach­ing re­la­tion­ship.” Here are­more tips: Shop around to find your match. In­ter­view more than one coach to de­ter­mine “what feels right” in terms of the chem­istry. Coaches are ac­cus­tomed to be­ing in­ter­viewed, and an in­tro­duc­tory con­ver­sa­tion of this type is usu­ally free of charge. Look for stylis­tic sim­i­lar­i­ties and dif­fer­ences be­tween you and the coach, and con­sider how these might sup­port your growth as an in­di­vid­ual. Dis­cuss your goals within the con­text of the coach’s spe­cial­ity or the coach’s pre­ferred way of work­ing with an in­di­vid­ual. Talk with the coach about what to do if you ever feel things are not go­ing well. Make some rules up­front on how to han­dle ques­tions or prob­lems. Re­mem­ber that coach­ing is a part­ner­ship, so be as­sertive when talk­ing with the coach about any prob­lems or con­cerns you may have. Be­sides chem­istry and com­pat­i­bil­ity, Moloto adds that it’s im­por­tant to make sure the per­son you choose is le­git and not an imposter. “There are so many peo­ple claim­ing to be coaches. Al­ways look for one who’s part of the var­i­ous as­so­ci­a­tions to know they’re ac­cred­ited. We have Coaches and Men­tors of South Africa (COMENSA), and there’s also the In­ter­na­tional Coach Fed­er­a­tion (ICF). These pro­fes­sional bod­ies make sure the coaches are trained, have spe­cific com­pe­ten­cies and abide by cer­tain stan­dards.”

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