Two & A Half Men
Two & A Half Men celebrates its 12-season run with a killer finale.
Two & A Half Men
Season 12 Wednesdays M-Net 20:00
Has Two & A Half Men (2003-2015) really been camping on our couch like Alan Harper (Jon Cryer) for 10 years now? It’s true. The show debuted in 2005 on South African screens and while some viewers think that it’s overstayed its welcome as much as Alan has, 13 million fans tuned in when the series finale aired in the US in February this year. And now it’s our turn to say goodbye with a two-part finale on Wednesdays 27 May and 3 June. The episodes are a gift to the show’s fans who’ve stuck through thick and thin over the years and devoured the show’s reallife behind-the-scenes drama too. Our only disappointment? Despite all the hinting, former lead star Charlie Sheen doesn’t appear in the finale as Alan’s “dead” brother Charlie Harper. But that doesn’t mean he’s not with us in spirit… or cartoon form (including a cameo appearance by Porky Pig in a bra)… or as Christian Slater in a bowling shirt… or as a body double.
ACCORDING TO ARNOLD
Alan and Walden (Ashton Kutcher) get threatening messages that they believe could be from Charlie (Harper, not Sheen), so they go to the cops. An incredulous Lieutenant Wagner (Arnold Schwarzenegger) recaps the plot of the past 12 seasons based on their statements in a detailed “you have to see if to believe it” monologue. In all the insanity, what Wagner can’t get his head around is that anyone would let Alan stay with them rent-free. Neither can we. But it turns out that the pair are right: Charlie is very much alive!
HELLO & GOODBYE
The finale also welcomes back a host of old friends, like Charlie’s stalker-turned kidnapper and dungeon rapist Rose (Melanie Lynskey), Alan’s delightful dimwit ex-wife Kandi (April Bowlby), Walden’s heartbreaking ex Zoey HydeTottingham-Pierce (Sophie Winkelman), Jake’s teacher-turned-stripper-turnedChristian-turned-stripper Miss Pasternak (Missi Pyle), Charlie’s ex-fiancée Chelsea (Jennifer Taylor) and Mia (Emmanuelle Vaugier), the girl who made Charlie choose between her and Alan. Best of all, despite having called the show filth during a religious rant in
2012, Angus T Jones returns – for one scene – as Jake Harper. He’s back and he’s rich from gambling on a game he chose because its name is a rude word. Walden observes, “That’s amazing that you made so much money with such stupid jokes.” The same could be said of the show itself and that’s just one of many hilarious in-jokes and little winks to the fans. Let’s wink right back…
TWO & A HALF LAUGHS
After 12 years, Two & A Half Men’s delivered plenty sitcom silliness. Some moments are just simply unforgettable… like these:
ALAN (JON CRYER)
Best moment! Becoming Evil Alan when he starts a Ponzi scheme in season 8 (2010) and spends all his friends’ money on luxurious living. For a couple of blissful episodes in a lifetime of being Fate’s favourite victim of abuse, Alan’s on top.
WALDEN (ASHTON KUTCHER)
Best moment! He smooches Alan during their wedding in episode 2 of season 12 (2014) with all the sincerity and heart that he puts into his vows, and he gets Michael Bolton to serenade him. Walden is the king of cheesiness… and we love it.
JAKE (ANGUS T JONES)
Best moment! Happily dresses for and attends a funeral in season 2 (2004) on the understanding that he’ll be able to feast his innocent little eyes on a real-life dead guy. Jake’s idiocy and farting will live on in our hearts even though in the series finale he looks like he either lives under a bridge or kills people who do.
CHARLIE (CHARLIE SHEEN)
Best moment! As his kids’ entertainer persona Charlie Waffles, he writes and performs inappropriate kids jingles – like Bye Bye Boobies – while drunk, in season 5 (2007). So true to life that we could cry.
EVELYN (HOLLAND TAYLOR)
Best moment! Every time she opens that evil snake mouth of hers and drips disappointed venom on her sons is bliss. STD jokes aside, accusing Charlie of being willing to have sex with anything, including a grilled cheese sandwich, in season 4 (2000) is a high point.
ROSE (MELANIE LYNSKEY)
Best moment! Sneakily having a full church wedding and marrying a mannequin in season 8 (2010) because she knows that Charlie finds married women irresistible. It works!
BERTA (CONCHATA FERRELL)
Best moment! She takes the nosy housekeeper cliché to new heights when she sleeps over in the laundry because she doesn’t want to miss a moment when Evelyn dates Bill (Chris O’Donnell), who’s really Charlie’s ex- girlfriend Jill after a sex change, in season 1 (2004).
JENNY (AMBER TAMBLYN)
Best moment! When she introduces Walden to her girlfriend Brooke as “the man who runs the Alan sanctuary”, in season 11 (2013).
LOUIS (EDAN ALEXANDER)
Best moment! When his adorable little face appears in episode 5 of season 12 (2014) and we want to pinch his dimpled cheeks, put him on TV and make money off him. And that time in episode 6 when he absolutely refuses to let go of the box of cereal in the supermarket.