Crazy with a cap­i­tal K

The Kar­dashi­ans are bring­ing 11 sea­sons of bonkers be­hav­iour to a TV near you.

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Kim K, mother-man­ager Kris Jen­ner and the rest of the re­al­ity TV gang have in­vaded in­ter­net stream­ing ser­vice ShowMax. The first 11 sea­sons of Keep­ing Up With The Kar­dashi­ans (2007- cur­rent) are avail­able on the ShowMax cat­a­logue – that’s 160 episodes of fights, eye-rolling, squeals and screams, diva de­mands and liv­ing the life­styles of the su­per-rich and su­per-fa­mous – the crazy an­tics view­ers have come to love (or loathe) from re­al­ity TV’s First Fam­ily. But can you re­mem­ber all those sea­sons way back?


The fam­ily are neat freaks – Rob even stacks his cola cans fac­ing the same way in his fridge! So what bet­ter way to make ev­ery­one un­com­fort­able than Khloé and Kourt­ney tak­ing in a friendly hobo named Shorty who was liv­ing in the dump­ster be­hind the Kar­dashi­ans’ bou­tique in episode 8? They give him a scrub, a trim and some new gear… and send him back to live in his card­board box. It’s the thought that counts.


Kim did a “taste­ful” nudie pho­to­shoot for her foot­ball star boyfriend Reg­gie Bush… and Reg­gie alone (in episode 9). But guess who’s spot­ted an op­por­tu­nity to boost Kim’s pro­file (and make ex­tra $$$ on the side)? Mo­mager dear­est Kris. But two can play at that game and Kim sells Kris’s saucy snaps from sea­son 1 that were meant for hubby Bruce’s eyes only. At least we know that Kim is her mom’s daugh­ter.


It was ru­moured that Khloé isn’t a real Kar­dashian and that Kris cheated on then-hus­band Robert Kar­dashian Sr (his claim to fame was work­ing on mur­der-ac­cused foot­ball star OJ Simp­son’s trial team in 1995). With Kris not put­ting out fires, Khloé takes re­venge in episode 6 by get­ting a DNA test… but not to see who her dad was! In­stead, Khloé takes a sam­ple from Kris to find out if Kris re­ally is her bi­o­log­i­cal mother. It’s not like Kris doesn’t have any pho­tos of her­self be­ing preg­nant or of Khloé as a baby or any­thing…


A list of early crazi­ness wouldn’t be com­plete with­out Kourt­ney’s baby­daddy Lord Scott Disick. Back in episode 10, Scott hadn’t of­fi­cially bought his “Lord” ti­tle (that’s in sea­son 7), but he’s still a pre­ten­tious snob who looks down on ev­ery­one. Mix in his prob­lems with booze – he loves the stuff – and you’ve got a recipe for re­al­ity TV dis­as­ter. Like when he ru­ins Kim’s Ve­gas birth­day by shov­ing a $100 bill in a waiter’s mouth. That’s when Kourt­ney de­cides to ditch Scott, un­til episode 11 when she takes him back. Oi vey.


When you live in LA, im­age is im­por­tant. And when you’re a Kar­dashian, it’s ev­ery­thing! That’s why Kim (who was only 29 in episode 5) goes for Bo­tox fillers when Kris points out that she’s get­ting crow’s feet around her eyes. Kim’s doc­tor is a lit­tle too rough with the in­jec­tions and her eyes go all puffy and pur­ple and she looks like a swollen puf­fer­fish. Which ev­ery­one in the fam­ily loves, ob­vi­ously.

From left: La­mar Odom and Khloé, Ken­dall, Kim, Kris, Rob, Kylie, Bruce Jen­ner, Kourt­ney and Scott Disick.

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