Danmar’s revved-up performance much to Singh about
DANMAR Autobody has received an Onion from me before, for its radio ad which has two motorists who collide “because the robots are out”. Apart from the wooden delivery, the question arose about how they both blamed something else, not their incompetence, for the collision.
Crashes (note I don’t call them accidents because that implies some Act of God, not stupidity) are part of South African life and Danmar, as a car repairer, wants to be top of mind. A much better ad for their service is their latest print one, which is simple, but effective.
It shows two pics: one of a car badly crunched in a crash, the second of it repaired as good as new. Under the before picture is “Damn” and under the after picture is “Danmar”.
It works. So an Orchid to Danmar and its agency, Singh and Sons.
Another clever print ad comes from Ogilvy Cape Town for Volkswagen Service. It shows a sloppily dressed “mechanic” standing outside a rundown “Joe’s service centre” in what looks like a seedy part of town.
“If he’s as good as he says he is, he’d be working for us”, runs the tag line. It taps right into that fear we have that going cheap will end up going nasty. And it emphasises the point that VW has “the right people” to service your car. In addition, it offers special rates for VWs older than five years, tempting those owners of older cars who have fallen away from the dealer network. Deserving of an Orchid. The say the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree and this week the first Onion is falling not far from where it would be yanked up – right on my own doorstep.
The latest radio ads for Independent Newspapers – and The Star specifically (I hope it is not being done for our other Group papers around the country) – are, simply, embarrassingly bad.
The script is dull and, to my mind anyway, fails to capture the exciting and comprehensive newspaper offering.
But it is the absolutely wooden voice artists, who leave you with the impression that they are watching paint dry, which really do us damage. Newspapers are exciting, but if those people are indicative of the average reader, then I’d want to run a mile.
An Onion for everyone concerned: how this was made, and approved, is beyond me. Anyone listening upstairs?
Another radio ad which, yet again, shows only a nodding acquaintance with the English language, is the one for ADT Security.
It starts by saying that, “If you are planning to rob a retail outlet this Christmas” (or words to that effect), then you should forget about those shops equipped with ADT’s electric Sensor matic equipment. These machines, I believe, are electronic tag readers, which will sound an alarm if you try to walk out of a shop without paying and with the tag still in place.
However, no fancy tag-reading machine in the world is going to stop someone if they want to your establishment and if, as they are in this part of the world, armed with an AK assault rifle.
You see, ADT and your dim ad agency (whoever that is), to rob means to steal with force, or with threats of force. Your machines are only there to counter shoplifting which, as you should know, is a type of simple theft.
Now lest I get attacked for being unnecessarily picky, let me also point out that this is not only inaccurate in a grammatical, language way, but also in a legal sense. What would worry me, if I was a potential client of a security company like ADT, was why they were not aware of one of the most basic differences in criminal law.
So, a big Onion for you, ADT, – Brendan Seery
writes: The first Onion is from my wife, Rose, for Woolworths Party Dresses for children TV ad. She says they could have been more sensitive about the choice of music. Apparently the ad features an Amy Winehouse song, she of the booze, drugs, tattoos and generally unwholesome appearance who is not the best role model for little children.
And my Onion is for the Workplace of December 10. The article is about writing a good CV and the emphasis is on a good presentation with good spelling and grammar.
“Start you job hunt with winning letter and CV” is the headline of the article and in the body is a small banner – an extract from the second last paragraph – and it states “as someone you trust to read your CV and look for mistakes”. While Missy Quest does not appear to have made any errors in the body of the article the editing of the titles leaves much to be desired, bearing in mind the context.
Shame on you!