Hell on wheels

Weekend Argus (Saturday Edition) - - MEDIA& MARKETING -

PLEASE HELP. I am in the mar­ket for a new car. They all look sim­i­lar. Should I buy one rec­om­mended by a dog, or from a surfer on the roof, one that swings be­tween cranes, or that can avoid paint ex­plo­sions, one that has a teddy bear which will re­trieve my lost keys, one that has a long con­tin­u­ous party, or a car­toon car that gets in­volved in a desert gun­fight?

Now I can’t iden­tify with any of the above. They are pre­dictable and bor­ing enough to cause per­ma­nent brain dam­age. I know they are try­ing to sell the siz­zle on the siz­zle and project a shal­low life­style but they all seem to be de­signed for three­year-olds.

I re­alise that I am not the tar­get mar­ket. Am I the only mid­dle-aged, mid­dle-in­come, mid­dle­class man in South Africa? I may not be very cool, but I am sure my money is. Is there no car ad that tells me what I want to know? I want a safe, re­li­able and eco­nom­i­cal car. Thanks.

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