Introducing the gongs you won’t see being handed out at the Laureus Awards
KE NAKO. It’s time for 2010 WAASA’s. As ever, the much-sought after “Wills Annual Alternative Sports Awards” sing for the unsung heroes of sport and celebrate the sniggeringly awful in another 12 months of overblown kids’ games.
– after Tiger Woods completed his final round at the Masters one of the CBS team speculated that he might play again at Quail Hollow in Charlotte, North Carolina : “It will be interesting to see where Tiger makes his next appearance.
“Perhaps it will be in Charlotte in a couple of weeks’ time.”
– Hugh Bladen referring back to “the 1968 Absa Currie Cup final” which took place more than 20 years before Absa was founded.
– Shane Warne continues his long running battle with former Aussie coach John Buchanan by commenting on his rumoured presence in the England camp; “He’ll bring something to the table. Cluedo, perhaps.”
– “5 000 gold-plated iPods bearing Frank Lampard’s lasered signature are to be melted down after demand for the £599 product failed to materialise in the wake of the World Cup” – The Guardian
– “You’ll Never Wok Alone” on the story of a Chinese takeover bid for Liverpool.
– “Schumacher Apologises” after heartless Michael sort of said sorry for trying to compress Rubens Barrichello into a wall at the Hungaroring in August.
– “Australian League Player in Dog Sex Scandal” after Joel Monaghan of the Canberra Raiders simulated an act with a dog and a photo was circulated on a social networking site.
– Brendan Venter’s surreal mickey-take with Martin Gillingham last weekend.
– “I won’t change my style. If I change my style, I will change Peter de Villiers, and then I would have to tell God that he made a mistake when he made me.”
– English pro golfer Brian Davis called a two-shot penalty on himself during a play-off for the Verizon Heritage PGA tour event which cost him the tournament.
– The women’s under-20 football World Cup which followed our inflated jamboree and produced some startlingly good football and was definitely a real World Cup because it was won by Germany.
– The Delhi Commonwealth Games.
– Lee-Anne Pace won five times on the European women’s golf tour this year and topped the money list yet could stroll through most Cape
– Korea’s Jae-bum Park and Thailand’s Namchoak Tantipokakul
– Nigerian club Heartland’s scorer against SuperSport United in CAF Champions League, ThankGod Ike
– a tie between Pittsburgh Steelers’ tackle Willie Colon and Germany’s Olympic silver medal winning ski-jumper Anders Wank.