In­tro­duc­ing the gongs you won’t see be­ing handed out at the Lau­reus Awards

Weekend Argus (Saturday Edition) - - SPORT -

KE NAKO. It’s time for 2010 WAASA’s. As ever, the much-sought af­ter “Wills An­nual Al­ter­na­tive Sports Awards” sing for the un­sung he­roes of sport and cel­e­brate the snig­ger­ingly aw­ful in an­other 12 months of overblown kids’ games.

– af­ter Tiger Woods com­pleted his fi­nal round at the Masters one of the CBS team spec­u­lated that he might play again at Quail Hol­low in Char­lotte, North Carolina : “It will be in­ter­est­ing to see where Tiger makes his next ap­pear­ance.

“Per­haps it will be in Char­lotte in a cou­ple of weeks’ time.”

– Hugh Bladen re­fer­ring back to “the 1968 Absa Cur­rie Cup fi­nal” which took place more than 20 years be­fore Absa was founded.

– Shane Warne con­tin­ues his long run­ning bat­tle with for­mer Aussie coach John Buchanan by com­ment­ing on his ru­moured pres­ence in the Eng­land camp; “He’ll bring some­thing to the ta­ble. Cluedo, per­haps.”

– “5 000 gold-plated iPods bear­ing Frank Lam­pard’s lasered sig­na­ture are to be melted down af­ter de­mand for the £599 prod­uct failed to ma­te­ri­alise in the wake of the World Cup” – The Guardian

– “You’ll Never Wok Alone” on the story of a Chi­nese takeover bid for Liver­pool.

– “Schu­macher Apol­o­gises” af­ter heart­less Michael sort of said sorry for try­ing to com­press Rubens Bar­richello into a wall at the Hun­garor­ing in Au­gust.

– “Aus­tralian League Player in Dog Sex Scan­dal” af­ter Joel Mon­aghan of the Can­berra Raiders sim­u­lated an act with a dog and a photo was cir­cu­lated on a so­cial net­work­ing site.

– Bren­dan Ven­ter’s sur­real mickey-take with Martin Gilling­ham last week­end.

– “I won’t change my style. If I change my style, I will change Peter de Vil­liers, and then I would have to tell God that he made a mis­take when he made me.”

– English pro golfer Brian Davis called a two-shot penalty on him­self dur­ing a play-off for the Ver­i­zon Her­itage PGA tour event which cost him the tour­na­ment.

– The women’s un­der-20 foot­ball World Cup which fol­lowed our in­flated jam­boree and pro­duced some star­tlingly good foot­ball and was def­i­nitely a real World Cup be­cause it was won by Ger­many.

– The Delhi Com­mon­wealth Games.

– Lee-Anne Pace won five times on the Euro­pean women’s golf tour this year and topped the money list yet could stroll through most Cape

club­houses un­recog­nised.

– Korea’s Jae-bum Park and Thai­land’s Nam­choak Tan­tipokakul

– Nige­rian club Heart­land’s scorer against Su­perS­port United in CAF Cham­pi­ons League, ThankGod Ike

– a tie be­tween Pitts­burgh Steel­ers’ tackle Wil­lie Colon and Ger­many’s Olympic sil­ver medal win­ning ski-jumper An­ders Wank.

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