ON THE COUCH

Weekend Argus (Saturday Edition) - - LIFE -

In­stead of telling your sis­ter she’s un­help­ful, why not ask her what she’s feel­ing? Rather than fum­ing about the sit­u­a­tion, con­fess your fears.

It must be fright­en­ing to think your won­der­ful, strong mother now needs help. You’ll all have to face some dif­fi­cult de­ci­sions on her be­half and she may not give up eas­ily. Get­ting her to ac­cept she can no longer look af­ter your fa­ther, per­haps hav­ing to find res­i­den­tial care for him, will be tough. I think you and your sis­ter are fall­ing back on fa­mil­iar at­ti­tudes and ac­tions rather than fac­ing the un­nerv­ing fu­ture.

Why not ask your sis­ter what she might be able to do next time there’s a prob­lem. She may have ideas and it’ll put her on a more equal foot­ing if she can make sug­ges­tions, rather than wait­ing for – or hid­ing from – or­ders.

She prob­a­bly en­vies your abil­ity to cope, but it leaves her feel­ing lost and use­less. You can’t boss your sis­ter into do­ing any­thing, much as you’d like to (I un­der­stand, I’m an older sis­ter), but while she’ll always be your sis­ter, she can be a good friend, too. – Daily Mail

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