ON THE COUCH
Instead of telling your sister she’s unhelpful, why not ask her what she’s feeling? Rather than fuming about the situation, confess your fears.
It must be frightening to think your wonderful, strong mother now needs help. You’ll all have to face some difficult decisions on her behalf and she may not give up easily. Getting her to accept she can no longer look after your father, perhaps having to find residential care for him, will be tough. I think you and your sister are falling back on familiar attitudes and actions rather than facing the unnerving future.
Why not ask your sister what she might be able to do next time there’s a problem. She may have ideas and it’ll put her on a more equal footing if she can make suggestions, rather than waiting for – or hiding from – orders.
She probably envies your ability to cope, but it leaves her feeling lost and useless. You can’t boss your sister into doing anything, much as you’d like to (I understand, I’m an older sister), but while she’ll always be your sister, she can be a good friend, too. – Daily Mail