THE APP SIDE

Women's Health (South Africa) - - DATING SPECIAL -

For the most part, I en­joyed the apps. Sure, I dealt with so many ghosters that I could open a haunted house, but I’d pre­vi­ously met plenty of duds in the bar too. Frankly, I was thank­ful for a new av­enue to meet men – I was hardly be­ing bom­barded with bach­e­lors at my women’s mag­a­zine job. But while my cou­pled-up mates liked hear­ing my dat­ing sto­ries, I had to live them. Even­tu­ally, I got tired. My main prob­lem: I couldn’t deal with the amount of choice in the app world. I mildly panic when choos­ing a brand of muesli, so you can bet I strug­gled when it came to love. When there are 329 man­age­ment con­sul­tants clog­ging up the feed on your dat­ing app, how the hell do you fig­ure out if Matt, 31, or Mark, 32, is your guy? Coun­sel­lor and eHar­mony’s re­la­tion­ship ex­pert De­siree Spier­ings be­lieves the kind of ex­haus­tion I ex­pe­ri­enced is com­mon. “Part of the dat­ing fa­tigue – not just the choice fa­tigue – from apps comes in be­cause an app can’t nar­row it down any fur­ther than looks. You can’t get chem­istry from a pic­ture,” she ex­plains. “That’s why go­ing on that first date is im­por­tant, to see if chem­istry is there. That’s where the fa­tigue comes in – you might in­vest time chat­ting on­line and then when you meet, the spark isn’t there.” In­deed, I learnt you have to meet up pretty quickly to as­sess if there’s some con­nec­tion be­yond your shared love of Suits sea­son six. There’s no point tex­ting Dave “How’s your day been?” for three weeks if he’s ac­tu­ally a seedy guy with a stuffed toy col­lec­tion. How­ever, this means your date tally and the time taken up in your di­ary can add up fairly quickly too.

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