I’ve walked in on my boyfriend mas­tur­bat­ing in the bath­room twice. What’s the best way to deal with the awk­ward­ness?

Women's Health (South Africa) - - GUY NEXT DOOR -

AN­SWER FEEL­INGS! Aren’t they bas­tards? His feel­ings of em­bar­rass­ment at be­ing bust wank­ing, your feel­ings of awk­ward­ness at hav­ing bust him, his feel­ings of horni­ness at need­ing that hor­monal re­lease, your pos­si­ble feel­ings around the fact that he felt he needed to when (I imag­ine) you are in an ac­tive sex­ual re­la­tion­ship... They all rack up these bler­rie feel­ings. How you de­cide to re­spond to this is up to both of you and it will be de­cided by who you are, your re­la­tion­ships with your own bod­ies, your re­la­tion­ship with each other, your up­bring­ing etc etc. Do you see mas­tur­ba­tion as wrong or dirty? I hope not. I be­lieve ev­ery­one does or at least has at some stage mas­tur­bated and those that deny it are ly­ing. But that’s just my world view. What about mas­tur­bat­ing in a re­la­tion­ship? Is it a sign that your sex life is strug­gling? In some cases it could be, in many cases it isn’t. Some­times it’s just a re­lease, an itch that needs scratch­ing. Per­son­ally, I would not make a big deal about it at all un­less you want to use it as a launch pad into un­der­stand­ing each other bet­ter sex­u­ally. If you mas­tur­bate, then be open about it and let him know you do too. Maybe it’s some­thing you want to do to­gether. Or not. That’s also cool. Bot­tom line – no jud­gies. Talk­ing about it is a start. And that start can lead to a bet­ter un­der­stand­ing of each other’s needs and de­sires.


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