Someone saw my BF on Tinder. He swears he never acted on anything, he was just browsing. Normal behaviour or should I dump him?
ANSWER No, that’s not normal behaviour. Those are the actions of someone looking for something or someone else. Browsing for what? Tinder and other dating sites/apps are great – if you’re not in a committed relationship. Put it this way, how would he feel
MY PARTNER ALWAYS TALKS ABOUT THE ATTENTION HE GETS FROM OTHER WOMEN. IS HE TRYING TO MAKE ME JEALOUS?
ANSWER Hmmm. Look, some couples do get off on making each other jealous. And within that category there are sub-categories: couples who take it seriously (want to eviscerate their partner or anyone who is attracted to them), couples who laugh at it (“sure babe, EVERYONE wants
you”) and couples who use it to avoid complacency and create a bit of spice in their attraction to each other. Many people hate the idea of playing games like this. The stance being, “Who cares if someone else is attracted to you? We’re committed to each other. Where are you going with this?” Each individual and each couple brings their own layered matrix of experiences, judgements and attitudes to a relationship. What works for another couple (or your partner), may not work for you. You need to figure out how you feel about it, maybe discuss with him what he’s trying to achieve and decide (and communicate) what your boundaries are when it comes to this game.
I’M REALLY KEEN TO GET ENGAGED. DO I HAVE TO WAIT FOR MY GUY TO BEND HIS KNEE OR WILL IT TOTALLY PUT HIM OFF IF I DO THE PROPOSING?
ANSWER The rule book on proposals got rewritten a long time ago. However, some guys are traditional (sometimes painfully patriarchal) in their attitudes to it and may not like the idea of their girlfriend proposing to them. You will have a pretty good idea of what kind of a guy he is. If he likes to have control over things, it may go down like a lead balloon. If he’s easy-going and you are the more gung-ho partner in the relationship, he may be totally chilled with you taking charge. I don’t have the data on your situation, but other things to consider are the following: why do you think he is taking his time? And what exactly is “taking his time”? Three months (you’re moving too fast), 10 years (he’s moving too slow). Could it be A) that he’s planning on proposing in a very specific way? Would you proposing steal his thunder? Or could it be B) that he does not see you guys getting married? Some people are quite happy to have sort of interim relationships where deep down they know they will never marry their partner because they are waiting for something else. How about C) is he actually someone who wants to get married at all? As in, have you discussed it before and did he seem keen on the idea? Marriage is not for everyone, so be sure it’s on his radar. Once you’ve considered everything, you’ll know whether you should drop knee, drop kick or cool your jets for a bit.