LAUGH A LIT­TLE

YOU (South Africa) - - CONTENTS - Fancy your­self a joker? Email orig­i­nal jokes to chuck­les@you.co.za or send them to Chuck­les, YOU, PO Box 7167, Rogge­baai 8012, and we may pub­lish them on this page. SOURCES: JOKES-BEST.COM, ONELINEFUN.COM, LAUGHFACTORY.COM

ADDING IN­SULT TO IN­JURY

As a woman gets on a bus with her baby the driver says, “That’s the ugli­est baby I’ve ever seen! Ugh!”

Fum­ing, the woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down. She says to the man next to her, “The driver just in­sulted me!”

“Well, you should go back there and tell him that’s un­ac­cept­able!” the guy says. “Go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

HE DID TRY

While hav­ing sup­per with his fam­ily a boy asks his fa­ther, “Dad, are bugs good to eat?”

“That’s dis­gust­ing,” his dad replies. “Don’t talk about things like that at the din­ner ta­ble.”

Af­ter din­ner the fa­ther says, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?”

“Oh, noth­ing,” the boy says. “There was a bug in your soup but it’s gone now.”

IT’S ALL ON THE HEAD

A cow lives on a farm with her four calves. The first one walks up to her mom and asks, “Momma, why is my name Rose?”

“Well honey,” the cow replies, “a rose petal fell on your head when you were born.”

The sec­ond calf comes up and asks, “Momma, why is my name Lily?”

“Be­cause, honey,” the cow replies, “a lily petal fell on your head when you were born.”

The third calf comes up and asks, “Momma, why is my name Daisy?”

The cow replies, “Well, when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head.”

Then the fourth calf walks over and says, “Duh huh guh nuh!”

The cow looks up and says, “Shut up, Tree Branch.”

IN THE DRINK

A fa­ther is im­pressed when his three-year-old daugh­ter of­fers to bring him a cup of tea while his wife is out shop­ping. When the mother ar­rives home her hus­band says, “Watch this!” The lit­tle girl serves her dad tea again. “Thanks dear,” he says be­fore tak­ing a sip. Then the mom says to him, “Did it oc­cur to you that the only place she can reach to get wa­ter is the toi­let?”

MOSTLY TRUE

A cou­ple have four sons. They’re all tall and have red hair and light skin, ex­cept for the youngest son who’s short and has black hair and dark eyes.

Then the fa­ther falls ill and is ly­ing on his deathbed. He turns to his wife and says, “Honey, be­fore I die, be com­pletely hon­est with me. Is our youngest son my child?”

His wife replies, “My dear, I swear on every­thing that’s holy that he’s your son.” With that he passes away at peace. “Thank good­ness he didn’t ask about the other three,” she mut­ters.

JUST TRY­ING TO HELP

When I was a boy, I had a dis­ease that re­quired me to eat mud three times a day in or­der to sur­vive. It’s a good thing my older brother told me about it.

MISS­ING DAD

My dad died af­ter an ac­ci­dent be­cause he needed a blood trans­fu­sion and we didn’t know his blood type. As he died he kept telling us to “be pos­i­tive”, but it’s hard with­out him.

IN THE BALL PARK

“Since it’s your birth­day,” a hus­band tells his wife, “re­mem­ber that bright yel­low Lam­borgh­ini you re­ally wanted?” His wife can’t con­tain her­self and starts to cry tears of joy.

“Well,” her hus­band says, “I got you a tooth­brush in the same colour.”

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