HOW DO I MOVE ON?
I’m in love with someone but it’s clear he doesn’t feel the same way. I’ve tried to go on with my life and meet someone else but when I do meet someone I can’t stop myself from comparing the new person with the guy I’m in love with.
I met him six months ago and it was just instant – I immediately fell in love with him. But unfortunately he’s just not into me, so I didn’t even have the opportunity to go out with him. How can I get over this? How do I move on? Carmen, email
If you didn’t even have the opportunity to go out with this man, how could you really get to know him? How do you know he’s the person you think he is?
In reality you’ve fallen in love with a fantasy of him. It’s an illusion.
Being in love and loving someone are completely different things. It’s possible to be in love with someone when you may not even know the person well, and you can easily pretend that he has no mannerisms or personality traits that you don’t find attractive. When you love someone, on the other hand, you know their weak points but are willing to accept them regardless.
No flesh-and-blood person will measure up to your knight in shining armour on the white horse. But you need to see that knight for what he is – a fantasy. Let the fantasy go so you can have a real relationship with a real person.
Give yourself the opportunity to get to know the guys you meet properly before you simply dismiss them. You might be surprised at the wonderful people you’ll get to know.