YOU (South Africa) - - YOU LIFESTYLE -

‘At his best, man is the no­blest of all an­i­mals; sep­a­rated from law and jus­tice he is the worst’ – GREEK PHILOSO­PHER ARIS­TO­TLE

My sis­ter is en­gaged to a rich guy who’s promised her a life of lux­ury. But she’s told me she can’t stand him touch­ing her and that she doesn’t even like him – never mind love!

I’ve tried to talk sense into her but with­out suc­cess. She’s con­vinced she’ll be happy if she has a lux­u­ri­ous life, and says she can get by with hav­ing lovers on the side.

How do I get her to see this isn’t a good idea and that all she’s do­ing is set­ting her­self up for a lot of heartache? Belinda, email Your sis­ter ob­vi­ously thinks money can buy hap­pi­ness, and your con­cern is valid – money cer­tainly makes life eas­ier but it’s no guar­an­tee of hap­pi­ness. It’s also not re­ally fair to­wards the guy who’s asked her to marry him as he’s likely to be rather un­happy if he dis­cov­ers she doesn’t want him to touch her and is re­volted by him but is happy to ac­cept his money.

Also, he’s un­likely to ac­cept her hav­ing lovers on the side. What will hap­pen is that even­tu­ally they’ll both be un­happy and the mar­riage will end in divorce. At the very least you need to gen­uinely like the other per­son for a mar­riage to work.

Your sis­ter seems to be a self­ish per­son who’s con­cerned only about her own needs. As she won’t lis­ten to you, you could try to warn her fi­ancé in a round­about way – per­haps ask him if he’s sure the mar­riage is what they both want.

Tell him he de­serves to be with some­one who re­ally loves him. He might not get the mes­sage, but at least you’ll have tried. Your sis­ter may be an­gry with you for do­ing it, but at least you’ll be able to live with your con­science.

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