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A nappy change ev­ery time she feeds – I need a change of cloth­ing just as of­ten too! I know that it’s quite nor­mal for breast­fed new­borns to have ex­plo­sive nap­pies, so I’m not wor­ried about her health. I am wor­ried about all the many rands go­ing down the

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A MOTHER’S GUILT

As a mom to three kids, it’s more ap­par­ent than ever how strong those feel­ings of guilt that we all har­bour as moms are. Guilt that we feel when we ask some­body to watch our chil­dren so that we can have some much needed time for our­selves, guilt when we bake and don’t in­volve our chil­dren, it goes on and on. We don’t like to speak about this guilt be­cause it’s al­most as if ad­mit­ting it means that we do have a rea­son to feel guilty. But the truth of it is, we all have these feel­ings. Yes, we love our chil­dren and are con­stantly striv­ing to do the best we can for them and for our fam­i­lies. But we need to cut our­selves some slack and make sure that we are look­ing after our­selves too. So, don’t skip that gym ses­sion, go out for cof­fee and do take all the help you can get so that you can be a hap­pier mom. Don’t feel guilty about not fin­ish­ing the house­work be­cause you had a pre­cious nap with your baby. It’s about the qual­ity of time you spend with and give to your chil­dren, not quan­tity. raise a happy and suc­cess­ful child in this scary world of ours. Now that my beau­ti­ful daugh­ter has ar­rived and I’m re­ally a mom, I know that no amount of wor­ry­ing is go­ing to take away from the fact that all I can do is be the best mother I pos­si­bly can. With all the guilt and un­cer­tainty that comes with par­ent­ing, I think we of­ten for­get what it’s all about – our lit­tle bun­dles of pre­cious joy. It’s re­ally not about how I do as a mom, or what mis­takes I make (and there will be many!). It’s about my daugh­ter know­ing that she is loved no mat­ter what, that she al­ways has a safe place where she is ac­cepted for ex­actly who she is. That is what par­ent­ing means to me.

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