Q: My husband and I are trying to conceive. Six months ago my gynaecologist prescribed Fertomid tablets – which I’m still taking. I don’t know how to tell my husband without offending him that the gynaecologist suggests he does a spermiogram. He’s so delicate and aggressive – please help!
A: Karin answers: The fertility journey is one fraught with emotional turmoil, fear and disappointment, and it sounds like you have some difficult realities to deal with too. I believe that education around all matters of fertility would be your best friend in breaking the news to your husband that fertility issues are not just a female problem, but that male fertility problems account for approximately 40 percent of infertility. I do however think that you shouldn’t get into the mind space of blaming someone for the difficulty you have to conceive (which is what I think you’re afraid he’ll experience if you asked him to go for more testing). Try shift the focus to learning about everything you could do to enhance your fertility and overall health and wellbeing as a couple, and to create the best physical and emotional environment in which to conceive a baby. There are fantastic resources available on the internet, as well as support groups for women such as yourself, who hope to become more empowered towards making the positive changes that could help you to conceive. Have a look at blossomandbe.org where you can become a member of an online fertility support network. I also recommend that you read widely and arm yourself with information that you could present to your husband in a more objective way. Print out the statistics or theories and ask him to read it and give his opinion. Perhaps he will notice for himself the next step the two of you need to take on your journey towards conceiving a baby. This is the first step of parenthood – two potential parents learning to work together towards one goal.