Fer­til­ity Q&A

Your Pregnancy - - Contents - Karin Steyn Coun­selling psy­chol­o­gist and hyp­no­birthing prac­ti­tioner Email your ques­tion for our ex­perts to: let­ters@yourpregnancy.co.za. Please note that ex­perts un­for­tu­nately can­not re­spond to each ques­tion per­son­ally. The an­swers pro­vided on th­ese pages

Q: My hus­band and I are try­ing to con­ceive. Six months ago my gy­nae­col­o­gist pre­scribed Fer­to­mid tablets – which I’m still tak­ing. I don’t know how to tell my hus­band without of­fend­ing him that the gy­nae­col­o­gist sug­gests he does a spermiogram. He’s so del­i­cate and ag­gres­sive – please help!

A: Karin an­swers: The fer­til­ity jour­ney is one fraught with emo­tional tur­moil, fear and dis­ap­point­ment, and it sounds like you have some dif­fi­cult re­al­i­ties to deal with too. I be­lieve that ed­u­ca­tion around all mat­ters of fer­til­ity would be your best friend in break­ing the news to your hus­band that fer­til­ity is­sues are not just a fe­male prob­lem, but that male fer­til­ity prob­lems ac­count for ap­prox­i­mately 40 per­cent of in­fer­til­ity. I do how­ever think that you shouldn’t get into the mind space of blam­ing some­one for the dif­fi­culty you have to con­ceive (which is what I think you’re afraid he’ll ex­pe­ri­ence if you asked him to go for more test­ing). Try shift the fo­cus to learn­ing about ev­ery­thing you could do to en­hance your fer­til­ity and over­all health and well­be­ing as a cou­ple, and to cre­ate the best phys­i­cal and emo­tional en­vi­ron­ment in which to con­ceive a baby. There are fan­tas­tic re­sources avail­able on the in­ter­net, as well as sup­port groups for women such as your­self, who hope to be­come more em­pow­ered to­wards mak­ing the pos­i­tive changes that could help you to con­ceive. Have a look at blos­so­mandbe.org where you can be­come a mem­ber of an on­line fer­til­ity sup­port net­work. I also rec­om­mend that you read widely and arm your­self with in­for­ma­tion that you could present to your hus­band in a more ob­jec­tive way. Print out the sta­tis­tics or the­o­ries and ask him to read it and give his opinion. Per­haps he will no­tice for him­self the next step the two of you need to take on your jour­ney to­wards con­ceiv­ing a baby. This is the first step of par­ent­hood – two po­ten­tial par­ents learn­ing to work to­gether to­wards one goal.

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