Con­fes­sions of a sex ad­dict: ‘I’m on my way to re­cov­ery’

Zululand Observer - Weekender - - ZO NEWS - Welling­ton Mak­wakwa

‘I WANT a nor­mal life and I’m will­ing to do any­thing to earn the re­spect of my com­mu­nity.’

After spend­ing months in a re­ha­bil­i­ta­tion cen­tre for sex ad­dicts, brave Malume (37) is not only start­ing over, but is on the way to re­cov­ery.

In Oc­to­ber last year Malume con­fessed to the Zu­l­u­land Ob­server on how his sex addiction and com­pul­sive be­hav­iour ru­ined his fam­ily and ca­reer.

He said sex im­ages oc­cu­pied his brain al­most ev­ery minute of the day.

He would pro­pose love to his col­leagues and even re­quested sex­ual favours from them.

Not only did his ac­tions put him in hot wa­ter with his su­pe­ri­ors, but his col­leagues also started avoid­ing him.

His be­hav­iour even­tu­ally lost him his job, friends and re­spect.

‘When I was young I used to be shy and couldn’t talk to girls. My friends used to be out there and had girl­friends very early. I didn’t un­der­stand any­thing about sex un­til I was 17 years old,’

‘Be­fore hav­ing my first sex­ual experience, I had al­ready de­vel­oped fan­tasies in my head and sex be­came an ob­ses­sion.

‘I thought it would fade away, but as I grew older the ob­ses­sion be­came more in­tense and I started vis­it­ing porn sites hourly.

‘I spent hun­dreds of pre­cious hours of my life go­ing from one im­age to the next and I was ad­dicted to it,’ Malume said dur­ing his first in­ter­view.

Ac­cord­ing to

Malume, when he started work­ing in his early 20s, he used all his money to lure girls to his bed and mak­ing all his fan­tasies a re­al­ity.

The main aim for his dis­clo­sure was his des­per­ate search for help to fight his ob­ses­sion.

Through the help of the ZO, which pointed him in the right di­rec­tion, Malume checked him­self into a re­ha­bil­i­ta­tion fa­cil­ity.

‘The first week was so ter­ri­ble that I wished I could die. They took away any­thing which could trig­ger my ob­ses­sion, in­clud­ing my cell­phone, lap­top and mag­a­zines.

‘While I was there, I did some soulsearch­ing and re­alised I had been on the wrong path for years.’

While in re­ha­bil­i­ta­tion Malume was di­ag­nosed with Hyper­sex­u­al­ity Dis­or­der.

With the help of coun­sel­lors and the cen­tre’s psy­chol­o­gists, Malume re­ceived treat­ment which low­ered his sex drive.

‘It’s not easy, but I’m will­ing to put in the work. I am tak­ing it one day at the time.

‘I still have sex­ual thoughts, but I have learned to counter it with read­ing or draw­ing. At least I can now con­trol my thoughts and will con­tinue to fight. I want a nor­mal life,’ said Malume

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