Dy­ing mom says: ‘you are a prod­uct of rape’

Zululand Observer - Weekender - - ZO NEWS - Welling­ton Mak­wakwa

‘I AM the prod­uct of rape - my mother’s con­stant re­minder of a heinous and wicked act by a stranger who fa­thered me.’

For as long as she can re­mem­ber, Nom­pilo (26) had felt some­thing was amiss about her child­hood.

Through­out her teenage years while liv­ing in a re­mote Zu­l­u­land vil­lage she al­ways felt dis­con­nected from her fam­ily and could sense the whis­pers, nudges and glances from some com­mu­nity mem­bers.

‘Deep down, I al­ways knew the fam­ily had kept a big se­cret from me, but never guessed what it was.

‘I lived with my mother, fa­ther and other sib­lings but I had al­ways felt the fam­ily was hid­ing some­thing from me.

‘My mother, un­like other moms, never shared any great sto­ries about her preg­nancy or how I was con­ceived.’

It was only years later that Nom­pilo’s sus­pi­cions were con­firmed.

On her deathbed, suf­fer­ing from can­cer, her mother con­fessed to have been raped by a strange man as a teenager.

She dis­closed the decade long se­cret about the bru­tal sex­ual as­sault which re­sulted in her be­com­ing preg­nant.

‘The man I had known as a fa­ther all my life was in fact, my step­fa­ther who mar­ried my mother two years af­ter she was raped.

‘At 19 years old she not only gave birth to me, but also strug­gled to cope and that’s when my step­fa­ther saved her.

‘The man had raped her in the bushes while she was com­ing to fetch wa­ter from the river.

‘No one knows who he is, which means I don’t know my real sur­name or where I be­long.

‘He could be a man I see ev­ery day on the streets. I prob­a­bly have brothers and sis­ters I don’t even know.

‘For all I know I could be dat­ing my brother with­out even re­al­is­ing it. It is such a ter­ri­ble thing not to know your roots’ cried Nom­pilo.

‘The man shat­tered my mother’s in­no­cence and de­stroyed her. I could see the pain in her eyes dur­ing the last mo­ments of her life,’ cried Nom­pilo.

‘It was a shat­ter­ing mo­ment to learn I was the prod­uct of rape. No one wants to think of them­selves as the re­sult of such a wicked crime.

‘Know­ing I am ge­net­i­cally re­lated to a rapist has messed with my life and sense of iden­tity. I’m suf­fer­ing from that heart­less as­sault,’ she said.

Ac­cord­ing to this dev­as­tated young woman, find­ing out the truth about her fa­ther has de­vel­oped a ha­tred to­wards men.

‘I hate men and my fa­ther even though I don’t know who he is but I hate him for what he did to my mother.

‘I don’t think I will ever be able to look at men the same or move past this sit­u­a­tion.‘I find my­self look­ing at men on the streets and won­der­ing if one is my bi­o­log­i­cal fa­ther. ‘I keep won­der­ing if he re­grets what he did to her or if he un­der­stands the sever­ity of his ac­tions,’ she said. Af­ter find­ing out the truth Nom­pilo at­tempted sev­eral sui­cides. ‘I just didn’t want to feel the pain and be­ing able to live in the com­mu­nity which knew the truth about me all along. I feel like they are whis­per­ing about my sit­u­a­tion and prob­a­bly laugh­ing be­hind my back.’ she said.

The Zu­l­u­land Ob­server has since re­ferred Nom­pilo to a com­mu­nity coun­selling and sup­port group.

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