Leaders play on tiers for fears

PUNCH drunk Little Britain has become a sparring ground for petty political battles over the Covid19 crisis as national unity hits the canvas.

Boris Johnson has launched his threetier traffic lights system for localised restrictions while contender for the hot seat Sir Keir Starmer comes off the ropes calling for a ‘ circuit breaker’ – a short ‘ get tough’ lockdown in England.

The PM believes his curbs achieve a delicate balance, keeping the pandemic under control and the economy moving. He has been forced to roll with the punches from politicians on all sides – including Tory back benchers as a result of the fight between concerns for health versus worries over the economy.

Meanwhile, the rest of the United Kingdom ( question mark over the ‘ united’ part of the Union) has chosen its own path.

Marching on together has never seemed less likely. In just one example, the Scottish leaders have put up a large black mark against Blackpool… possibly because Strictly Come Dancing is not visiting this season. First Minister Nicola Sturgeon choosing a rocksolid dance with the devil as she blames the seaside town for large numbers of Scottish infections.

Support for the original national lockdown was a matter of some pride back in March, but having saved the NHS, a battleweary population does not have the same appetite for Round Two, the second wave.

Sadly, the relative calm of the summer – when attention was more focused on holidays and where to take them – also signalled the start of a political heavyweight bout even before infections started to rise, university cities leading the new wave, and all sides were hit with sucker punches and blows below the belt as a result.

The government scientists appeared in living rooms and from the TV warned of up to 50,000 infections a day unless stricter measures were taken; they called for the circuit breaker. Mercifully, the mathematical model did not become a reality, but a great cache of other boffins and medical peeps have questioned the whole strategy in any case. More infighting.

Boris bounced back with his compromise to ‘ keep things going, to keep our kids in schools, to keep our businesses going’. It is also intended to simplify things for Joe Average… confusingly, the green light stands for ‘ medium risk’, rather than an ‘ all clear’.

And as the story unfolded, the socalled threetier system at least delighted newspaper headline writers. Front pages blasted out a series of puns, ‘ tiers’ substituted for ‘ tears’ ( see above).

Back in Westminster, the PM refuses to throw in the towel over the ‘ green, amber, red’ level of restrictions but also ‘ rules nothing out’. Labour leader Sir Keir picks up and runs with the circuit breaker argument – all be it three weeks late, but he has been branded ‘ Captain Hindsight’ by a defiant Boris.

The scientists believe a short national lockdown will halve coronavirus deaths for the rest of doomladen 2020 but ( rightly) admit it is not their brief to look at harm to the economy, society, and what happens after the two, three, or four weeks of pulling down the shutters again to keep Covid under control.

Preparing to throw in the towel are large parts of the population after taking months of punishment. People want to save lives but fears for health – and not just coronavirus, fears for businesses and jobs, fears for the very fabric of their lives abound. It could very well all end in ‘ tiers’.

Let us pray

Funeral services continue to become the happy hunting ground for council jobsworths as another employee wields newfound Covid powers to trample over the feelings of mourners and prove death is not the end.

This time it was a recital of the Lord’s Prayer that triggered alarm bells and had a crematorium official in Bridgend waving a yellow card; last week, a service was unceremoniously halted when two sons went to comfort their grieving mother, accused of breaking social distancing rules.

Once again, there is a plea for ‘ common sense’ and a grovelling apology for the upset caused at an emotional time.

Alison Davies was asked to conduct the service and conclude with the prayer. She said she was ‘ flabbergasted’ she was accused of breaking the rules and the incident was ‘ the final straw’ for families already deprived of so much at such a time.

She said the congregation quietly ‘ mumbled’ the prayer and definitely had not shouted or chanted the historic words… but was still told the ‘ low tones’ of Lord’s Prayer still broke the Welsh Government’s Covid rules.

Bridgend council said it believed prayer constituted ‘ chanting’ and went against government legislation but understood prayer brought ‘ great comfort’. It also apologised for upset caused.

However, the Welsh Government called on local authorities to use a little more common sense. A spokesman said: “While chanting is restricted in funerals, speaking in a low tone to pray would not be considered against the guidance.”

Looks like another vacancy in the parks department will soon be filled, a strong hand is always needed to keep people off the grass.

Not just any scraps

And finally, the food halls of Marks and Spencer are selling a traditional northern chip shop treat at £ 1.05 a pop – the deepfried batter pieces traditionally given away for free.

Known as ‘ scraps’ – regional variations include ‘ bits’, ‘ scrumps’, ‘ gribbles’ and ‘ dubs’ – chippies would throw in a scoop of the delicacy when requested.

Scraps are a byproduct of frying fish, the detached pieces of batter going crisp in the boiling fat. Memories of the crunchy pieces with a good sprinkling of vinegar are enough to rekindle happy dreams of childhood ( with apologies to the arteries).

M& S is now selling 80g tubs of the ‘ light and crispy’ batter as part of the Chip Shop range. One slight problem, they have to be cooked before consumption.

The grocer is celebrating its success in getting the nation talking about its product and is looking forward to seeing what the rest of the nation makes of the taste from the north.

Dear Sir,

I spoke to a member of your staff today and you may remember I spoke to you last week. I have read the bank closure article in your paper.

Could you ask your reporter to ask Sir Roger Gale to speak to Mel Stride, MP and ask him “What are the government doing to ensure that banks do not close the current accounts of UK citizens in the EU whose sole income is the state pension. Under UK law, pensioners in the EU and UK have to have a UK bank account to receive their pension. He is breaking UK law by allowing the banks to close accounts. International works and pensions centre cannot pay into a foreign account, as they would be breaking the law.

We need permanent concrete assurance that banks cannot close our accounts.

The Government’s response that ‘ the EU did not reciprocate’ is a cover up. As you will see from the enclosed newspaper cutting the chancellor at that time, Mr Hammond, did nothing. Both these politicians have shown a distinct lack of stature as politicians.

I have glaucoma and cannot use the internet so I depend on reports in your paper. I also have Asthma.

I realise that this letter will not reach you in time for Parliament’s question time on Wednesday which is a pity but perhaps your reporter can still pursue it, please thank him for his efforts.

PS It seems a lot of Barclays customers are on tax avoidance schemes and not legal residents like me. Yours faithfully

M. E Rogers