Métro: Alonso Martínez. Put on your comfiest Castañers and get ready for the shop-Olympics in Madrid’s funkiest, gayest and most happening ’hood. Take the Plaza Santa Barbara exit, skedaddle down the plaza and swing left into Orellana. Reward yourself for getting out of bed at choc heaven Cacao Sampaka #4 (see Coffee), whose sugary treats will energise you for the rest of the day. Next door at #6 is David Puente / 391 3909 / for sculptures and beautiful antiques. Got hair like a windswept wildebeast? If so, cross and book into modish Teatro Lab hair salon at #3 (see Spa), otherwise, simply turn right into Campoamor. Fabra at #2 / 702 3741 / will satisfy your deepest designer shoe cravings, then on the diagonally opposite corner, spy the Gaudiesque, Art Nouveau Palacio Longoría. Sadly it’s not open to the public, so retrace up Campoamor and nip right into Santa Teresa, to find Oliphant at #7 / 319 3594 / oliphant.es / brimming with flowery kidwear, dresses and knick knacks with a French aura. Exit left and turn left into Justiniano to find Galería Estampa on the right at #6 / 308 3030 / galeria estampa.com / showing accessible contempo art. Continue the artsy fun at at #8 Carmen Muñoz’s hand-painted plates studio (see Adv. Shop.). Turn right at the end into Orellana and either cross Argensola for a scrummy antipasto at #17 La Tavernetta / 319 2390 / trattorialatavernetta.es, or swing left into Argensola to salivate at Poncelet at #27 / 308 0221 / also see Lunch for Cheese Bar / poncelet.es / with its array of creamy, stinky cheeses. Don’t pop them in your Birkin though, there’s nothing worse than a whiffy sac. Cross to the corner with Genova to find Nac at #18 / 310 6050 / for a concise curation of top int’l brands, then backtrack again to Argensola for lovely local designer Lemoniez at #17 / 308 4821 / with sleek separates. Barrel on down to Suus at #4 / 702 4750 / suus.es / lined with hunky brand-name men’s shoes, then down on the corner Yube / Fernando VI, 23 / 319 7673 / yubemadrid.blogspot.com / is packed with m/w street labels. Options: You may wish to peel off to Plaza Chueca at this point for a cold cerveza, local ogle, and the next itinerary, or else carry on for the Justicia portion of the jaunt. Exit Yube right and stop at #23 Mama Framboise (see Coffee) for a java n’ sugar jolt, then cross and left into Regueros for gorgeous, stylish m/w fash at #15 PEZ (see Standout Stores). Retrace to Fernando VI and at #13 is DO Design / 310 6217 / dodesign.es, an art gallery and shop with Scandinavian décor and clothing, and a few steps further at #2, the misnomered Le Marché Aux Puces / 319 8019 / which isn’t a flea market, but rather the boutique home to a sleek selection of avant-garde accents from names like Dries Van Noten and Balenciaga. Exit left and left again into Hortaleza, where at #75 perfume temple Le Secret du Marais / 310 0133 / lesecretdumarais. com / will transport you to scent heaven. Now if you’re pecky, cross and trot down Travesía de San Mateo for a snack at #16 Magasand / 319 6825 / magasand.com, otherwise stay on Hortaleza for eyewear nirvana Optica Toscana at #70 / 360 5007. Or stop by COAM at #63 / 595 1505 / coam.org, with stunning archi exhibits and, if you fancy a dip, buy a ticket for the glass-bottomed roof pool! Refreshed and ready for more? The Chueca itin starts here, power shopper!