Anger has no space in one’s body
Clinical psychologist Ndo Mdlalose believes the increase in spates of murder come about due to people not learning to have outlets for their anger.
“Yes, in times like this, one is often tempted to dismiss such murders as these perpetrated for ritual purposes and I will not dispute that they are a possibility,” Mdlalose said. She said there were however heightened incidences of crimes of passion which were borne out of situations which could have been avoided had the murders been afforded a chance at counselling. She relented that she could not blame former colleagues and baby momma for not believing that Muzi Khumalo could have been capable of killing his wife, “Rapists and killers look ordinary because they are so good at hiding their real feelings.”
She said the former lover could have been able to tolerate and calm his demons whenever he got angry or learnt to avoid doing things that could trigger violent episodes. She was quick to state that she did not blame the deceased for Khumalo’s actions as anger could have been building up for years.
“It is no shock that he was a good guy, he could have been. Probably, she was able to understand him,” Mdlalose said of the former lover.
She emphasised that this goes to show that men can abuse a person emotionally without them knowing. She said women should be wary of emotional abuse because it gets put aside and does not get the label as does physical.
“He might not hit you, but do things such as denying you rights. Something simple like not wanting you to communicate with certain people or taking away your cellular phone, that is abuse,” she said adding that abusers are in general very clever and cunning. Labelling men who are able to abuse others without the victims knowing, she called them sadist or psychopaths, “They appear normal to an extent that a person could say they are normal.”
“You might find that the victim did not do anything but he was confronting his anger issues at that time hence I advise that when there is something bothering you, deal with it at that time because it might come back and come out at another time,” she said adding that anger had no space in one’s body, it has to come out.
Clinical psychologist Ndo Mdlalose.