SUPER HERO DADS
Master P, Kena, Deeflava
Master P is a proud father of two boys, Siyamthanda who is 8 and Aphiwe who is 5 years old. Speaking about how being a single father has been like for him, he is quick to clarify that he is a father yes but he wouldn’t call himself a single father rather a co-parenting because the mother’s of his children are present and contribute to making sure the children get the best life.
Being a working man with a busy schedule sometimes is hard to handle but he says it is easier for him because his children live with their mothers and he visits them every chance he gets or they come visit him. He says when they are around and he has to work, they are always well taken care of by his aunt. He says as a father he has never ever felt judged just because he is a single father. He says the judgment normally is received by single mothers because there is still all this misconception and beliefs that the woman must have done something wrong to become a single parent. If any reaction Master P says he gets people who actually think he is a cool father. Speaking on dating, he says he has been a very lucky person because he has not dated a woman who had a problem with him having children. If anything he thinks he meets mature women who respect, love and do not try to compete with his children. This is something he is really happy about.
Being a father can change people positively or negatively, depending on the circumstances around you. Master P says, being a father has changed him a lot. “Before I became a father I lived my life recklessly but having people to live for changed me for the better”, he explains. .He says there are a number of things he used to do which he is not proud of but being a father made him come to a decision to quit it all.
Speaking on how he spends time with his two boys, he says, “My kids stay far apart, the ol der one (Siyamthanda) stays in Mbabane and his little brother (Aphiwe) stays in Mhlume, so I rarely s pend time with them together”. He says that whenever they do get to spend time together it is always a good time. “I t a ke t hem f or games, but whatever happens, they must eat pizza at the end of the day”, he chuckles.
As a father Master P says he teaches his chil- dren to fear God before anything and respect other people, young or old. “My discipline method with my children is firstly I talk with them to let them know what and why it is wrong, If they continue to do the wrong, no pizza for them”. He says that always works for him. As a parent you try and instil good character traits in your children as a very young age, Master P he says, one traits he is instilling in his children a nd he hopes they grow with it, is to be always humble a nd smile in other peoples face. “I won’t lie, raisi n g child r en isn’t cheap, with hefty s c hool fees and stuff, one
has to work really hard to make sure his children get a better life”. He says for him it is a whole lot easier because he shares some of the responsibilities with their mothers.
Children are inquisitive by nature and as they grow they get to a point where all they do is ask questions none stop. Sometimes the problem is not that they are asking questions rather the kind of questions they ask and how they ask them. Master P says sometimes his children ask him if he’s going to marry their mothers and he says that is the hardest question to answer. He says his response to that usually is “when the time is right we’ll know”.
There are a lot of comparisons about how children from single parent households fare against children from the “normal” households, Master P says he doesn’t think there’s any difference between whose parents have separated and those from “normal” households, as long as they get genuine love from both parents who are on good terms.
My biggest challenge as a single parent is I always have to travel whenever I want to see my children, sometimes I wish we could all wake up in the same house, share the same space but that is not the case.
For any parent, the hardest part is not being always around for your child/children. Master P says it is no different for him. “I wish I were with my children 24/7 but that is not possible”. Headds, he gets comfort from knowing they are well taken care of. On the contrary he says t he bes t par t about being a father is when he gets to spend time with his boys, j us t t hem with no disturbance.
Master P says the only a dvi c e he can s har e with other fa thers would be, “do what is bes t f or your children, don’t us e y our children as weapons to fight your ex, love your childr e n unconditionally and make sure you discipline them accordingly so you can be sure they will be able to s ur v i v e t he world even if you are no l onger around.